I decided it'd be best to just keep a running record of all the trips we take this year, then at the end of the year, I will make some sort of photo book for all of us to enjoy.
March 17 - March 21 - Moad, Utah - stayed just outside Moab in an amazing camp ground
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
First camping trip of 2016, Utah
It has been a very busy first few months of the year, how is it almost April already? We had plenty going on, I was super busy with work, my parents were here, we are re-doing our bathroom and Sean is getting a new job. But in the middle of all of that, we decided to take a trip...well, Sean decided to take a trip and convinced me to go along. I love our trips, our new little camper, the kids growing and so on, but I will say the timing was less than great. I had just worked about 23 straight days with 1 day off, running 3 State events that finished with basketball - which had over 100 teams...it was cramming a weeks worth of hours into 3 days and it was all basketball. And my parents were here watching the kids and we were gutting our upstairs bathroom - no big deal, right? So, why not go for the longest camping trip we have been on yet at the end of that. I had no time to prepare for it, barely time to pack for it certainly not time to look forward to it.
I knew I needed a break, away from work, away from home, just time away to clear my head and to re-center myself. I just didn't think it was going to be a great time to go, so I was a little against it. I rallied and got on board and we headed west. It worked well with a work meeting I was in Grand Junction for, I headed out with Cora and the boys followed with their own set of issues...a flat tire on the trailer, a bike dragged down the highway, but finally we had a nice dinner in Grand Junction and I was ready for the trip.
We woke up the next morning and got ready to go, Sean went food shopping since we didn't pack much and we were on the road. The kids were in mostly good moods and I was exciting, finally, for a break, a real break...it was great. We found our campsite with Leah and Tyler and set up camp. It was fun to set up our new camper and try and figure it all out. The site we were at was just lots and lots of sand, which Liam and Cora loved. It left them quite dirty, but they loved it. We spent the day mostly hanging out and then took the back roads into the Arches National Park. We walked around a bit and saw part of that park. After that we headed into Moab for a bit, then headed back to the campsite to hang out and wait for Jolie to show up.
The next day we decided we wanted to climb, so we hit the local wall, found a climb and set it up, it was a fun day and Liam had a blast. It was the first time he was excited to get his harness and helmet on and waiting patiently to climb. He was a little scared to get going, however, he spent the most time he had yet on the outside wall - did he enjoy it? It seemed like it. Soon he was over it and decided it was too hot, so he decided he wanted to take his shirt off like daddy - and proceeded to want to be in shorts...which ended up being his underwear...I feel he was embracing his inner climber with his new found free-spirit, maybe one day he'll be one of those climbers just roaming around looking for good climbing...that kind of free spirit...but hopefully not in his underwear. I loved watching him, though. He loved watching Sean climb and I think he enjoyed seeing me climb too. He would yell "Good job, Mommy" ever now and then. The friends we were camping with met us there and climbed a little bit with us. We all went to Moab for the Quesadilla Mobilla, it was quite tasty. Sean then needed to rent a mountain bike since he was broken...we did all of that and headed back to camp.
It worked out that Jolie and I snuck off on the rented mountain bikes, me without my shoes to clip in to the pedals, just riding on time and it was so much. It was hard, the hardest riding I ever did, but it was fun, I was challenged and pushed to the next level and it was worth it, I overcame being freaked out my a trail that was labeled blue/black, knew my limits and walked when I needed to. And when it was time to ride, I hopped on and had a great time. The next day, Sean went riding with Tyler and Jolie and I hung out at camp. We had another friend, Summer come up with Kale. Liam had a blast playing with Kale and they rented a UTV, which was quite fun. I didn't get to ride, but I know Summer and Kale had a blast, as did Sean and Liam. Jolie and I snuck into town for a bit to walk around and hang out until Sean made his way to return his bike. We then went on a sunset hike to the Corona Arch, which was so fun. Liam did so great and hiked almost half of the trip we did. It was so cool to feel so small, but in a different ways that the mountains make you feel small. It is such a good reminder to know where you belong in the world, being reminder how much bigger things really are out there.
We spend the next day at Canyonlands National Park, going on a few hikes, take plenty of pictures and enjoying the views that went on and on...it was canyons and mountains and all in between. Liam became a Junior Ranger and hiked quite a bit again. He also enjoyed a nice nap on my back, which is always fun when I get to carry him again...reminds me of how much he has grown and how much he has changed in all the years I have been carrying him.
We had a great time, it was a long trip, the longest we have done, 4 nights, but so great. The views were incredible, the sunrises, the sunsets, the stars, the moon. While I was a little stressed out in the beginning, I ended up just letting go and finding enough enjoyment in everything we did - of course there were a few ups and downs...some tantrums, some tears, but overall, we all had a great time. It's just a good reminder that sometimes you need to get away, far away to remember how close you all are. I enjoyed the moments with the kids and Sean and friends we were with. I loved sitting down, finally at the end of the day when Cora would calm down and sit by the fire and just forget all the other crap that gets in the way some days. It was a great trip with everyone and it was hard to send the kids off to day care today, and will be even harder to get in the car and go to work tomorrow. But, I'll be looking forward to the next adventure!
I knew I needed a break, away from work, away from home, just time away to clear my head and to re-center myself. I just didn't think it was going to be a great time to go, so I was a little against it. I rallied and got on board and we headed west. It worked well with a work meeting I was in Grand Junction for, I headed out with Cora and the boys followed with their own set of issues...a flat tire on the trailer, a bike dragged down the highway, but finally we had a nice dinner in Grand Junction and I was ready for the trip.
We woke up the next morning and got ready to go, Sean went food shopping since we didn't pack much and we were on the road. The kids were in mostly good moods and I was exciting, finally, for a break, a real break...it was great. We found our campsite with Leah and Tyler and set up camp. It was fun to set up our new camper and try and figure it all out. The site we were at was just lots and lots of sand, which Liam and Cora loved. It left them quite dirty, but they loved it. We spent the day mostly hanging out and then took the back roads into the Arches National Park. We walked around a bit and saw part of that park. After that we headed into Moab for a bit, then headed back to the campsite to hang out and wait for Jolie to show up. 
The next day we decided we wanted to climb, so we hit the local wall, found a climb and set it up, it was a fun day and Liam had a blast. It was the first time he was excited to get his harness and helmet on and waiting patiently to climb. He was a little scared to get going, however, he spent the most time he had yet on the outside wall - did he enjoy it? It seemed like it. Soon he was over it and decided it was too hot, so he decided he wanted to take his shirt off like daddy - and proceeded to want to be in shorts...which ended up being his underwear...I feel he was embracing his inner climber with his new found free-spirit, maybe one day he'll be one of those climbers just roaming around looking for good climbing...that kind of free spirit...but hopefully not in his underwear. I loved watching him, though. He loved watching Sean climb and I think he enjoyed seeing me climb too. He would yell "Good job, Mommy" ever now and then. The friends we were camping with met us there and climbed a little bit with us. We all went to Moab for the Quesadilla Mobilla, it was quite tasty. Sean then needed to rent a mountain bike since he was broken...we did all of that and headed back to camp.
It worked out that Jolie and I snuck off on the rented mountain bikes, me without my shoes to clip in to the pedals, just riding on time and it was so much. It was hard, the hardest riding I ever did, but it was fun, I was challenged and pushed to the next level and it was worth it, I overcame being freaked out my a trail that was labeled blue/black, knew my limits and walked when I needed to. And when it was time to ride, I hopped on and had a great time. The next day, Sean went riding with Tyler and Jolie and I hung out at camp. We had another friend, Summer come up with Kale. Liam had a blast playing with Kale and they rented a UTV, which was quite fun. I didn't get to ride, but I know Summer and Kale had a blast, as did Sean and Liam. Jolie and I snuck into town for a bit to walk around and hang out until Sean made his way to return his bike. We then went on a sunset hike to the Corona Arch, which was so fun. Liam did so great and hiked almost half of the trip we did. It was so cool to feel so small, but in a different ways that the mountains make you feel small. It is such a good reminder to know where you belong in the world, being reminder how much bigger things really are out there.
We spend the next day at Canyonlands National Park, going on a few hikes, take plenty of pictures and enjoying the views that went on and on...it was canyons and mountains and all in between. Liam became a Junior Ranger and hiked quite a bit again. He also enjoyed a nice nap on my back, which is always fun when I get to carry him again...reminds me of how much he has grown and how much he has changed in all the years I have been carrying him.We had a great time, it was a long trip, the longest we have done, 4 nights, but so great. The views were incredible, the sunrises, the sunsets, the stars, the moon. While I was a little stressed out in the beginning, I ended up just letting go and finding enough enjoyment in everything we did - of course there were a few ups and downs...some tantrums, some tears, but overall, we all had a great time. It's just a good reminder that sometimes you need to get away, far away to remember how close you all are. I enjoyed the moments with the kids and Sean and friends we were with. I loved sitting down, finally at the end of the day when Cora would calm down and sit by the fire and just forget all the other crap that gets in the way some days. It was a great trip with everyone and it was hard to send the kids off to day care today, and will be even harder to get in the car and go to work tomorrow. But, I'll be looking forward to the next adventure!
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
The year of me...
...that's what I decided this year was going to be - the year of me. I'm not pregnant with no plans to be, I'm still nursing Cora, but not so much that I need it to be my sole focus, so it's time for me. It's time for me to shine again. It's been so long since I've focused on me, I forget how it goes sometimes, how hard it can be to get things done I want to get done, how easy it is to make excuses. After all, right now I am typing this and drinking a glass of wine instead of working out today...another day off, but...you know, it's still the year of me.
So, what am I going to do with this year, or what have I done so far? I found a great gym by my work with an awesome workout class that I have decided I will go to twice a week. It's 30 minutes each day and my butt is kicked...so tired after each week, it's awesome. I would love to try and do it 3 times a week, but it's too hard with my work. So, I have been getting in other workouts at lunch or rather doing work. I have been running again, well, or something that resembles running and have been loving it, I went a few times already this year, got in 3 miles as my top mileage and look forward to building on that and improving my running. So, I'm ready to be fit again, fit like I was before even Liam. I have a goal to be in the best shape of my life by 40, that gives me about 2 years to kick some more ass. I am confident if I keep up my workouts twice a week and my runs, and toss some yoga in there, I'll be well on my way to getting in the best shape I can be in.
And I want more, I want to climb again, I love climbing, I love getting so strong with my climbing. I want to get back to my pull ups and chin ups. I can almost do a chin up again, which is great. I have read that it should take you about 9 months to take off baby weight, the weight it took you 9 months to put on and while that's not happening for me, I'm using that weight to get stronger and I feel pretty great that I can almost do a chin up. Just makes me think that the more I lose, the stronger I get, the more pull ups and chin ups I can. And I love that feeling. I think I mentioned to someone that it's not even baby weight, it's just a weight vest, for training....it's the best way to look at it.
I have a very love/hate relationship with the scale - I'd rather just throw it out, but I can't. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with it, but I kind of am. But the one good thing, I know I am more than that number...I am more than if that number goes up or down on a given day based on my sodium or water intake, but it's still a good measure. A better measure for me is my clothes. I have more and more clothes that I want to wear that actually fit each day, I spend less time worrying about how I look, I have been focusing on how I feel.
I feel strong again, I see muscles, my muscles are sore after workouts and runs and yoga. My knees hurt less and are stronger when I am walking around. I can lift and move better. I am getting there, always getting there. And I will always be on a journey to better myself, physically, mentally and emotionally, but right now, I'm in a good place.
I'm enjoying the journey this time. I'm remembering that 9 months ago I had a baby, Sean delivered a happy, healthy baby at home. And for 9 months I fed her and nourished her. At this point, so what if I'm not the weight I was before her, or all the clothes done fit, I kept her alive for 9 months, me, my body did that. And maybe I needed a little extra weight to do that, or I need to eat more, or whatever that might me, I did it. I am so proud of that, more proud that I ever thought I would be of that.
But now, now it's time to focus on me, focus on my journey to getting back to me. It's hard to remember what it's like to not be pregnant, to not be worried about my milk supply, to find myself again and what I love to do. And in looking for all of that, in doing all the things I love, my climbing, my snowboarding, working out, running...I find that all of that isn't even enough because, honestly, I am bored when my crazy, silly family isn't around. I went out earlier, to run a few errands and it was so quiet, so boring. Ha, I'm sure I will regret that in about 10 minutes when the kiddos get home.
But, to be honest, I think it was such a great thing, a great time for me to realize that on my search for my year of me, my family is a huge part of what makes me me. And I wouldn't trade that for the world. So, this year is about me finding me again, finding my fitness along the journey, enjoying and embracing the journey. I plan to grow, get stronger and make myself the best me I can be...and enjoy so many adventures along the way, adventures that I can keep up with, adventures that I'm in charge of...and adventures that mean the world to me.
So, I am so excited for 2016, I plan to embrace what I have and love me for me right now...and love everything I have in front of me and enjoy all moments, even if all my clothes don't fit and I don't reach a certain number on the scale, I vow to enjoy the journey and moments along the way...cheers to the year of me, the year of my wonderful life and family that I have been blessed with - and I don't plan to let a minute go by of that without being grateful each and every day.
So, what am I going to do with this year, or what have I done so far? I found a great gym by my work with an awesome workout class that I have decided I will go to twice a week. It's 30 minutes each day and my butt is kicked...so tired after each week, it's awesome. I would love to try and do it 3 times a week, but it's too hard with my work. So, I have been getting in other workouts at lunch or rather doing work. I have been running again, well, or something that resembles running and have been loving it, I went a few times already this year, got in 3 miles as my top mileage and look forward to building on that and improving my running. So, I'm ready to be fit again, fit like I was before even Liam. I have a goal to be in the best shape of my life by 40, that gives me about 2 years to kick some more ass. I am confident if I keep up my workouts twice a week and my runs, and toss some yoga in there, I'll be well on my way to getting in the best shape I can be in.
And I want more, I want to climb again, I love climbing, I love getting so strong with my climbing. I want to get back to my pull ups and chin ups. I can almost do a chin up again, which is great. I have read that it should take you about 9 months to take off baby weight, the weight it took you 9 months to put on and while that's not happening for me, I'm using that weight to get stronger and I feel pretty great that I can almost do a chin up. Just makes me think that the more I lose, the stronger I get, the more pull ups and chin ups I can. And I love that feeling. I think I mentioned to someone that it's not even baby weight, it's just a weight vest, for training....it's the best way to look at it.
I have a very love/hate relationship with the scale - I'd rather just throw it out, but I can't. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with it, but I kind of am. But the one good thing, I know I am more than that number...I am more than if that number goes up or down on a given day based on my sodium or water intake, but it's still a good measure. A better measure for me is my clothes. I have more and more clothes that I want to wear that actually fit each day, I spend less time worrying about how I look, I have been focusing on how I feel.
I feel strong again, I see muscles, my muscles are sore after workouts and runs and yoga. My knees hurt less and are stronger when I am walking around. I can lift and move better. I am getting there, always getting there. And I will always be on a journey to better myself, physically, mentally and emotionally, but right now, I'm in a good place.
I'm enjoying the journey this time. I'm remembering that 9 months ago I had a baby, Sean delivered a happy, healthy baby at home. And for 9 months I fed her and nourished her. At this point, so what if I'm not the weight I was before her, or all the clothes done fit, I kept her alive for 9 months, me, my body did that. And maybe I needed a little extra weight to do that, or I need to eat more, or whatever that might me, I did it. I am so proud of that, more proud that I ever thought I would be of that.
But now, now it's time to focus on me, focus on my journey to getting back to me. It's hard to remember what it's like to not be pregnant, to not be worried about my milk supply, to find myself again and what I love to do. And in looking for all of that, in doing all the things I love, my climbing, my snowboarding, working out, running...I find that all of that isn't even enough because, honestly, I am bored when my crazy, silly family isn't around. I went out earlier, to run a few errands and it was so quiet, so boring. Ha, I'm sure I will regret that in about 10 minutes when the kiddos get home.
But, to be honest, I think it was such a great thing, a great time for me to realize that on my search for my year of me, my family is a huge part of what makes me me. And I wouldn't trade that for the world. So, this year is about me finding me again, finding my fitness along the journey, enjoying and embracing the journey. I plan to grow, get stronger and make myself the best me I can be...and enjoy so many adventures along the way, adventures that I can keep up with, adventures that I'm in charge of...and adventures that mean the world to me.
So, I am so excited for 2016, I plan to embrace what I have and love me for me right now...and love everything I have in front of me and enjoy all moments, even if all my clothes don't fit and I don't reach a certain number on the scale, I vow to enjoy the journey and moments along the way...cheers to the year of me, the year of my wonderful life and family that I have been blessed with - and I don't plan to let a minute go by of that without being grateful each and every day.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Looking back...
It's always good for me to sit and look back on things, whether it be a long weekend, a work event, or in this case, the whole year. It's also a good way for me to get back into my blogging, it's been too long since I have visited here, shared my thoughts and memories for me to look back on. So here I am, I know, you have been waiting and waiting for this, right? :)
It has been a wild year, to say the least. I have so many ups and downs, I'm not even sure where to start. I started the year pregnant with Cora, she was giving me a hard time, but I worked through it. I even managed to get some snowboarding in when I was 7 months pregnant at our State Winter Games, which we had to cancel - which brought many tears...but instead of focusing on that, I think I'll look forward to this year and making sure our event makes up for it! Then I was just working, working and working. We had State Basketball, which had over 100 teams and was exhausting! Being 8 months pregnant, running here and there took a tole, but I made it through. During all of this, I was preparing for Summer Games, since I was going to have Cora a month or so before that. There was very little downtime at work for me, since I wanted to be as prepared as possible for the Summer Games. I knew I was going to be out for a while, but also knew I wanted to get back to work as soon as possible, rather to get things in order for the games. I went through a lot of emotions when I realized it was possible that I was going to miss Summer Games due to Cora. I couldn't miss Summer Games - I haven't missed a Summer Games in 15 years, I couldn't this year. So, through some tears, pleading and proposals of my plan it worked out, I was able to work from home with Cora leading up to the games and had her with me most of the games. It was great, it was hard, but it was worth it.
Then there was Cora, my sweet little baby girl...who came to us in the most amazing way possible. I think back to it all, to the labor, to the times I told Sean I couldn't do it, to when he said it was time to go, to when all of a sudden, she was here. The moment was amazing, it was everything I wanted and more. Sean got to catch my wonderful baby girl and she has been amazing from day one. She has nursed like a champ, she sleeps pretty well and while I still spend way too much time cuddling her, it is worth every minute of it. Maybe I don't get my evening work out in, or maybe the laundry stays in the dryer a bit longer, but her snuggles and cuddles are worth each and every moment. I am soaking them up, watching her sleeping and nurse and just being in love with everything about her.
And then there is Liam, that kid. I love that kid so much. He has such a mind of his own, his imagination is amazing and his spirit is beyond incredible. I am so lucky to have this boy with such energy, and so much love for everything. I mean, he is a 3 year old, so he has his moments, but when he is in a good mood, he is the sweetest. I love the way he wants to help cheer up Cora, as a matter of fact, yesterday, he was pouting because she was still crying after he tried to make her feel better. He wants to help to everything, I can do that, he says quite often...he wants to help daddy when daddy is working, he wants to help mommy when I'm cooking...his world is just a canvas for him to learn and I hope we are teaching him well.
And I'm sure there are a million more things we did this year that remind me of how lucky I am to be where I am be with the people I'm with. I took the kids back to Illinois for a fun trip, we had lots of visitors that help remind us of the paradise we live in. We started some traditions like donuts from downtown Evergreen and a hike by the lake on a weekend morning when we are both home. We are reminded that people don't to be related to be family. We were lucky to have sold our house in IL, just recently, which was both relieving and sad all at the same time.
We finally camped this summer in our new camper and it was amazing. I was reminded how much I love to camp...and the places we get to go and the stars we can see on each trip are such a reminder of what a beautiful place we live in. We went on adventures as a family that I enjoy more than I thought. The kids are loving being outside - if Liam is in the right mood, he will stay outside all day and night, with no complaints, except when it's time to come inside.
I was reminded of the strong person I am the person I want to keep being for me and for my kids. I am finding the balance of being a mom, working, being a wife and still being the person I want to be. I have rediscovered my desire to do things, like snowboarding and climbing and even though I have kids, I can still be the person I was once...I will just need to adjust my expectations a bit.
It has been a beyond incredible year for me and for us as a family. We are so blessed to have so many people to be thankful for in our lives. We wake up in paradise every morning and while we have to work and live our lives each day, which is not always easy, we always get to come home to our mountain retreat, endless stars and a home we have created.
P.S. These kiddos have become more than a big part of my life, they are my life...something no one really tells you about being a parent...oh, that, and they will drive you crazy any chance you get and make you laugh and smile harder than you ever have in your life. I wouldn't trade them for the world and I look forward to seeing what the new year brings for all of us, especially them!
It has been a wild year, to say the least. I have so many ups and downs, I'm not even sure where to start. I started the year pregnant with Cora, she was giving me a hard time, but I worked through it. I even managed to get some snowboarding in when I was 7 months pregnant at our State Winter Games, which we had to cancel - which brought many tears...but instead of focusing on that, I think I'll look forward to this year and making sure our event makes up for it! Then I was just working, working and working. We had State Basketball, which had over 100 teams and was exhausting! Being 8 months pregnant, running here and there took a tole, but I made it through. During all of this, I was preparing for Summer Games, since I was going to have Cora a month or so before that. There was very little downtime at work for me, since I wanted to be as prepared as possible for the Summer Games. I knew I was going to be out for a while, but also knew I wanted to get back to work as soon as possible, rather to get things in order for the games. I went through a lot of emotions when I realized it was possible that I was going to miss Summer Games due to Cora. I couldn't miss Summer Games - I haven't missed a Summer Games in 15 years, I couldn't this year. So, through some tears, pleading and proposals of my plan it worked out, I was able to work from home with Cora leading up to the games and had her with me most of the games. It was great, it was hard, but it was worth it.
Then there was Cora, my sweet little baby girl...who came to us in the most amazing way possible. I think back to it all, to the labor, to the times I told Sean I couldn't do it, to when he said it was time to go, to when all of a sudden, she was here. The moment was amazing, it was everything I wanted and more. Sean got to catch my wonderful baby girl and she has been amazing from day one. She has nursed like a champ, she sleeps pretty well and while I still spend way too much time cuddling her, it is worth every minute of it. Maybe I don't get my evening work out in, or maybe the laundry stays in the dryer a bit longer, but her snuggles and cuddles are worth each and every moment. I am soaking them up, watching her sleeping and nurse and just being in love with everything about her.
And then there is Liam, that kid. I love that kid so much. He has such a mind of his own, his imagination is amazing and his spirit is beyond incredible. I am so lucky to have this boy with such energy, and so much love for everything. I mean, he is a 3 year old, so he has his moments, but when he is in a good mood, he is the sweetest. I love the way he wants to help cheer up Cora, as a matter of fact, yesterday, he was pouting because she was still crying after he tried to make her feel better. He wants to help to everything, I can do that, he says quite often...he wants to help daddy when daddy is working, he wants to help mommy when I'm cooking...his world is just a canvas for him to learn and I hope we are teaching him well.
And I'm sure there are a million more things we did this year that remind me of how lucky I am to be where I am be with the people I'm with. I took the kids back to Illinois for a fun trip, we had lots of visitors that help remind us of the paradise we live in. We started some traditions like donuts from downtown Evergreen and a hike by the lake on a weekend morning when we are both home. We are reminded that people don't to be related to be family. We were lucky to have sold our house in IL, just recently, which was both relieving and sad all at the same time.
We finally camped this summer in our new camper and it was amazing. I was reminded how much I love to camp...and the places we get to go and the stars we can see on each trip are such a reminder of what a beautiful place we live in. We went on adventures as a family that I enjoy more than I thought. The kids are loving being outside - if Liam is in the right mood, he will stay outside all day and night, with no complaints, except when it's time to come inside.
I was reminded of the strong person I am the person I want to keep being for me and for my kids. I am finding the balance of being a mom, working, being a wife and still being the person I want to be. I have rediscovered my desire to do things, like snowboarding and climbing and even though I have kids, I can still be the person I was once...I will just need to adjust my expectations a bit.
It has been a beyond incredible year for me and for us as a family. We are so blessed to have so many people to be thankful for in our lives. We wake up in paradise every morning and while we have to work and live our lives each day, which is not always easy, we always get to come home to our mountain retreat, endless stars and a home we have created.
P.S. These kiddos have become more than a big part of my life, they are my life...something no one really tells you about being a parent...oh, that, and they will drive you crazy any chance you get and make you laugh and smile harder than you ever have in your life. I wouldn't trade them for the world and I look forward to seeing what the new year brings for all of us, especially them!
Monday, December 21, 2015
Three
It's the magic number, right...yes, yes it is. Yesterday Liam turned three. How is that possible? How was he born just 3 years ago, I feel like so much has happened in that time, I can't even wrap my head around it. I think back on the day he was born, his story, our first few months, our first year and so on. And I am so proud of that little guy - he is turning into such a kid, such his own person, which is great! Of course, he has his moments, many of them, but most kids do, right? So today I will take a few minutes to remember what I love most about him right now. There aren't words to really express how much I love him, how much my love has grown as he has grown, but here are just a few things that make me smile about him for now, would love to freeze these moments in time:
- I love the way he cuddles and plays with Cora, a little too hard at some point, but he will just come up and hug and kiss her in the sweetest way. I also love the way he says "Sweetie, it's OK" when she is crying, similar to how I say it to her.
- He is a parrot - he repeats what we say, which can be quite funny - he got us all laughing this weekend when he repeated my mom saying "Oh gosh" and then continued to say it over and over as we laughed.
- He is ready to do things on his own, get out his cereal in the morning, get his boots on, so many things that he does each day to help me, makes me so happy to have the help and a little sad he isn't needing me in that way so much anymore.
- During bath time, he thinks it's hilarious to sit in Cora's bathtub after she gets out. I have no idea how he manages to get in and out, but he does and he giggles when he is in there in such a goofy silly way.
- He still stomps his little feet into our bedroom some nights and while some nights Sean takes him back to his room, some nights he climbs up and sneaks in without us knowing, it typically means that Cora wakes up when I move here and I have little to no room to sleep, but it's the most loving night of "rest" I can get. He's getting so big I'm not sure how long he'll fit in bed with us, but I'll let it keep happening as long as he wants.
- The faces he makes, the way he rolls his eyes at us (how does a 3 year old even know what that means), the smiles he gives when he knows he is asking for something he shouldn't have and they way he knows how to make me laugh when I need it the most.
- How he hugs and kisses me - I feel like hugs and kisses with kids are always changing, but right now, he runs to me, tries to tackle me and hugs me so big, I love it...even if I'm not expecting it and he tackles me.
- Reading books with him when he can fill in some of the words, hearing him learn new words and new sounds and just listening to him talk, sometimes I still have no idea what he is saying, but he is talking and he knows what he wants!
I'm sure I can go on and on and perhaps I'll add more later, but for now, I will be done with his 3 year post, maybe someday he'll want to read these, most likely I'll sit and cry and read these when he is a teenager, but whatever the case may be, I'm happy to capture these moments, just for a little bit longer.
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| This was my last picture of my 2 year old, the night before his 3rd birthday. |
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Two years
It has been just over 2 years since we made the move, the leap, the jump to give up all safety and security of our prior life to live our dream. And some days it seems like we have been here for forever, while some days it seems like we are just getting our feet wet on this new crazy adventure. So I sit here today and I think about how much has happened since we have been here. We moved and bought a house, have changed cars a few times, had a few different people take care of Liam, got plenty of visitors that we showed a good time to, took some trips back to IL, had a baby and explored the state that we have grown to love. We have both worked more hours than we can count in our new jobs and have become more comfortable overall with everything.
I have loved getting settled here and it has been hard at times as well. Yes, it would be much easier to be closer to family, to have someone to call at any moment to come over and help. It would help to have someone to call or visit when Sean is working every hour possible during a given week. It would help to have a few more weekends off together, not me working every weekend he's not working during certain months. And yes, it would be great to see everyone more, much more. I loved watching my nieces and nephews grow up and miss that people won't see that with my kids on a regular basis.
But then I look around and remember a day like we had on Tuesday. It was a perfect day. We got a foot of snow so we started shoveling bright and early. Liam had to move the snow to find that patio and exclaimed with great excitement to me when he found it. We then came in for a wonderful pancake breakfast and some play time before lunch.
After lunch it was time to play in the snow some more. Everyone got bundled up and after a few tears, we geared up and went outside. Liam was excited to snowshoe this year like a big boy. He said that a few times and it was so sweet. Then we walked through our yard for Sean to find a good place to snowboard down the front yard. He made a track for Liam to snowboard and sled. Cora just snuggled up with me as we walked through our winter wonderland backyard. Liam laughed and giggled, ate snow, giggled some more and had so much fun. I loved watching him have so much fun, he really just enjoying being outside, more than I even knew possible. I mean, I love being outside and being in the snow, Maybe it has to do with us being December babies, but whatever it is, we love the snow. There is nothing better than a snowy, sunny day, a day to play in the snow, frolic, laugh and fall down and enjoy the day. Then we hit our end point, the point where it was just too much for him, nap time and he was beyond done. We had a great day, a perfect day, according to him. There was nothing we did that was about us, he was in charge, he was the guy showing us what to do and he was having fun. And he napped - hard, it was great! We had a nice afternoon with friends, had chili and a fire, a perfect snow day.
And I was reminded why we moved, why we did what we did, jumped across the country. Yes, we could have had nice days where we were, but honestly, there is something in the air here and makes me smile. Looking out the front window and seeing a magnificent winter wonderful is heavenly to me, I almost feel like I don't deserve to have the view I have. I feel like all the hard work we are doing is worth it, the extra hours, the time where we are alone, it's all worth it.
We made one of the hardest decisions of our lives to this point 2 years ago to pick up our life, our work, our family. We have struggled at times, I've cried plenty about being on my own with Sean working too much, especially at first. But each day we spend here, we get stronger. Each night I am alone with both kids, fighting dinner, bedtimes and everything in between, we all hug tighter those nights. I spend an extra few minutes kissing Liam at night, maybe harder than usual without a worry to wake him so I can tell him how much I love him. And I smile and now we made the right choice - the hard choice, but the right one. He belongs here, we belong here and 2 years have provided us with so much - so many chances to live our dreams, to explore the new land we are in. We get to call the mountains home and that makes me smile inside and out - and that smile a little bigger for my kids, who just love being here, being outside and living this life.
I have loved getting settled here and it has been hard at times as well. Yes, it would be much easier to be closer to family, to have someone to call at any moment to come over and help. It would help to have someone to call or visit when Sean is working every hour possible during a given week. It would help to have a few more weekends off together, not me working every weekend he's not working during certain months. And yes, it would be great to see everyone more, much more. I loved watching my nieces and nephews grow up and miss that people won't see that with my kids on a regular basis.
But then I look around and remember a day like we had on Tuesday. It was a perfect day. We got a foot of snow so we started shoveling bright and early. Liam had to move the snow to find that patio and exclaimed with great excitement to me when he found it. We then came in for a wonderful pancake breakfast and some play time before lunch.
After lunch it was time to play in the snow some more. Everyone got bundled up and after a few tears, we geared up and went outside. Liam was excited to snowshoe this year like a big boy. He said that a few times and it was so sweet. Then we walked through our yard for Sean to find a good place to snowboard down the front yard. He made a track for Liam to snowboard and sled. Cora just snuggled up with me as we walked through our winter wonderland backyard. Liam laughed and giggled, ate snow, giggled some more and had so much fun. I loved watching him have so much fun, he really just enjoying being outside, more than I even knew possible. I mean, I love being outside and being in the snow, Maybe it has to do with us being December babies, but whatever it is, we love the snow. There is nothing better than a snowy, sunny day, a day to play in the snow, frolic, laugh and fall down and enjoy the day. Then we hit our end point, the point where it was just too much for him, nap time and he was beyond done. We had a great day, a perfect day, according to him. There was nothing we did that was about us, he was in charge, he was the guy showing us what to do and he was having fun. And he napped - hard, it was great! We had a nice afternoon with friends, had chili and a fire, a perfect snow day. 
And I was reminded why we moved, why we did what we did, jumped across the country. Yes, we could have had nice days where we were, but honestly, there is something in the air here and makes me smile. Looking out the front window and seeing a magnificent winter wonderful is heavenly to me, I almost feel like I don't deserve to have the view I have. I feel like all the hard work we are doing is worth it, the extra hours, the time where we are alone, it's all worth it.We made one of the hardest decisions of our lives to this point 2 years ago to pick up our life, our work, our family. We have struggled at times, I've cried plenty about being on my own with Sean working too much, especially at first. But each day we spend here, we get stronger. Each night I am alone with both kids, fighting dinner, bedtimes and everything in between, we all hug tighter those nights. I spend an extra few minutes kissing Liam at night, maybe harder than usual without a worry to wake him so I can tell him how much I love him. And I smile and now we made the right choice - the hard choice, but the right one. He belongs here, we belong here and 2 years have provided us with so much - so many chances to live our dreams, to explore the new land we are in. We get to call the mountains home and that makes me smile inside and out - and that smile a little bigger for my kids, who just love being here, being outside and living this life.
Friday, September 11, 2015
It's a better day to be grateful
It has been a very busy few weeks for us, rather few months, but that's how we roll, so that isn't all that strange. We are finally being settled for a few days and have a weekend with no plans. Even though Sean will be working, I plan on taking the time to get our house back in order after our trip back to Illinois and our latest camping trip. If it actually happens will be another story.
My plan was to get something done last night. Sean was working on a case, something I hadn't been around for in a while. I had to get the kids up yesterday morning, get them to day care, get to work, get home and get them and so on. At times, Cora is starting to want to do more, play more and need more attention than me just sitting in one place nursing her. We did play outside for a while, but then it ended up being a lazy night and we watched a movie. It was bedtime and I was getting a little nervous - we got out of our good routine and it was the first night in a long time I had to put Liam to bed while I had Cora. It actually worked out well, we did some stories and then snuggled. Liam was too busy making Cora laugh to go to sleep, so I decided it was time for us to leave. He wasn't happy about that and we went through our normal, stay in bed or I shut your door, pitter patter feet, door shut, crying, me saying get back into bed and finally with Liam in bed, I sat in the rocking chair for a few minutes as he dozed off. I snuck downstairs, fed Cora off to sleep and watching some TV for a bit. Success, both kids were sleeping by 8:30 or so, of course Cora was on my lap, but so be it, it stopped me from getting up to get too many late night snacks!
We had a rough night, Liam woke up at some point and came into our room. He ended up spitting up a couple of times in our bed. Had to clean up and change the sheets - of course, Cora was actually sleeping at this point, until I had to move her for sheet changing. Liam went back to his bed and I snuggled him for a bit until I heard Cora getting fussy, so I went back to our room to try and get her settled. And then I hear him coughing so more, so I run back to his room to clean up a little more spit up. Thankfully, he had an extra sheet and blanket on his bed from when he went to bed in underpants the other night, so that was a quick clean up - he asked for more cuddles and he finally drifted off to sleep. This takes us to about 3:00 AM and Cora thinks it's way too funny to be awake right now - she was so not sleeping! I mostly assumed I was done sleeping for the night, but I got her to lay down and nurse - I have no idea when she fell asleep, but I finally did.
Sean came home around 5:00 AM or so, seeing a few bears on the way and went in to snuggle with Liam. Cora was wide awake around 6:30 when I got out of the shower so we went downstairs to get ready for the day. It was getting time for me to leave and I had to pry Liam out of bed, crying for daddy the whole time. I was worried we were going to have a really rough time getting to Sharon's, however, when we went in Liam's room to get dressed, we looked out the window and saw 2 deer eating, right there. Then, we kept looking and saw about 7 total deer, including a baby one. The mood of the morning changed, Liam was so excited to see the deer, he forgot about how upset he was...it was great. I was so happy to were able to turn things around like that. We left to go to Sharon's and a deer blocked our path to our car - a little alarming, but ran away as we got closer.
And drop off went great, Liam didn't cry today, Cora was happy and I was on my way to work, half asleep, but somehow feeling positive about life, about our day and also feeling grateful, so grateful.
I feel like today is always a day we are told to remember everything about 9/11 - the bad things that happened, the way a country came together and most importantly, everyone that lost their lives. I always remember the trip my friend and I took to NY just a few days before and the run I took with no sound of airplanes. I remember the prayers I said on that run for everyone involved and how grateful I felt to be home with my family.
And today, I think about the same things, I think about how one day, Liam and Cora will learn about this in school and we will talk about it. But I also feel so grateful today, grateful to be where I am with my family, grateful to have a family and friends both near and far. I have been having a hard time getting my words and thoughts together today, perhaps it's the lack of sleep or perhaps it's the magnitude of the day, or perhaps I haven't been able to get my thoughts straight since the shooting in Fox Lake last week.
I've been wanting to make sense of another pointless tragedy that has taken place, but no sense can be made from it. And the more it is covered, the more those killers are sensationalized, the more it is about them and it wasn't about them. It was about Lt. Joe. I have wanted to write about him, about the situation for a while, and I guess today is the day.
I was so lucky to have met Lt. Joe. He worked with me on the Polar Plunge and I loved his energy, it was infectious. I remember asking him one day how it maintained it - it was a natural high, he would say, from being up at 4:30 AM working out that day. I'm pretty sure I had Liam just before that and I couldn't even think of being awake at that time, but he said, if it mattered, you'd make time for it. Since his passing, that's all I can think about when I read stories about him, see the coverage etc. I've been thinking about what matters, how precious life is, how you really never know when something might happen. And you can live in fear of it all or you can just accept it and make the most of life that you have, which is what I am trying to do. I'm trying to remember the conversations I had with Lt. Joe and the smile he always had on his face, and how anything you asked of him, wasn't a problem. It was so inspiring to see so many people pull together as a community, a community I was honored to work with on the Polar Plunge, a community that amazed me during those days and a community that showed America and everyone what one small community can do if it pulls together. And Lt. Joe was the reason behind it all, he brought the best out of everyone he knew, even the little bit I knew him. I'm sure I can keep writing about him and the situation, again, it has been in my head and heart for so long. So many people sad so many great things about him, the person he was, the spirit he had...and I am choosing to be inspired by it and by him and take this all as a reminder, a reminder that it really doesn't matter if Liam forgets to use the potty, or doesn't listen to something I say. What matters is how I react to it all, so that Liam and Cora can learn to be a happy and grateful person, because that is what I feel right now, grateful - to be here on earth to make a difference, to be able to embrace those kiddos and my husband every night and to be grateful that I have life and to make the most of it. All in all, it's a good day to remember, but it's a better day to be grateful.
My plan was to get something done last night. Sean was working on a case, something I hadn't been around for in a while. I had to get the kids up yesterday morning, get them to day care, get to work, get home and get them and so on. At times, Cora is starting to want to do more, play more and need more attention than me just sitting in one place nursing her. We did play outside for a while, but then it ended up being a lazy night and we watched a movie. It was bedtime and I was getting a little nervous - we got out of our good routine and it was the first night in a long time I had to put Liam to bed while I had Cora. It actually worked out well, we did some stories and then snuggled. Liam was too busy making Cora laugh to go to sleep, so I decided it was time for us to leave. He wasn't happy about that and we went through our normal, stay in bed or I shut your door, pitter patter feet, door shut, crying, me saying get back into bed and finally with Liam in bed, I sat in the rocking chair for a few minutes as he dozed off. I snuck downstairs, fed Cora off to sleep and watching some TV for a bit. Success, both kids were sleeping by 8:30 or so, of course Cora was on my lap, but so be it, it stopped me from getting up to get too many late night snacks!
We had a rough night, Liam woke up at some point and came into our room. He ended up spitting up a couple of times in our bed. Had to clean up and change the sheets - of course, Cora was actually sleeping at this point, until I had to move her for sheet changing. Liam went back to his bed and I snuggled him for a bit until I heard Cora getting fussy, so I went back to our room to try and get her settled. And then I hear him coughing so more, so I run back to his room to clean up a little more spit up. Thankfully, he had an extra sheet and blanket on his bed from when he went to bed in underpants the other night, so that was a quick clean up - he asked for more cuddles and he finally drifted off to sleep. This takes us to about 3:00 AM and Cora thinks it's way too funny to be awake right now - she was so not sleeping! I mostly assumed I was done sleeping for the night, but I got her to lay down and nurse - I have no idea when she fell asleep, but I finally did.
Sean came home around 5:00 AM or so, seeing a few bears on the way and went in to snuggle with Liam. Cora was wide awake around 6:30 when I got out of the shower so we went downstairs to get ready for the day. It was getting time for me to leave and I had to pry Liam out of bed, crying for daddy the whole time. I was worried we were going to have a really rough time getting to Sharon's, however, when we went in Liam's room to get dressed, we looked out the window and saw 2 deer eating, right there. Then, we kept looking and saw about 7 total deer, including a baby one. The mood of the morning changed, Liam was so excited to see the deer, he forgot about how upset he was...it was great. I was so happy to were able to turn things around like that. We left to go to Sharon's and a deer blocked our path to our car - a little alarming, but ran away as we got closer.
I feel like today is always a day we are told to remember everything about 9/11 - the bad things that happened, the way a country came together and most importantly, everyone that lost their lives. I always remember the trip my friend and I took to NY just a few days before and the run I took with no sound of airplanes. I remember the prayers I said on that run for everyone involved and how grateful I felt to be home with my family.
And today, I think about the same things, I think about how one day, Liam and Cora will learn about this in school and we will talk about it. But I also feel so grateful today, grateful to be where I am with my family, grateful to have a family and friends both near and far. I have been having a hard time getting my words and thoughts together today, perhaps it's the lack of sleep or perhaps it's the magnitude of the day, or perhaps I haven't been able to get my thoughts straight since the shooting in Fox Lake last week.
I've been wanting to make sense of another pointless tragedy that has taken place, but no sense can be made from it. And the more it is covered, the more those killers are sensationalized, the more it is about them and it wasn't about them. It was about Lt. Joe. I have wanted to write about him, about the situation for a while, and I guess today is the day.
I was so lucky to have met Lt. Joe. He worked with me on the Polar Plunge and I loved his energy, it was infectious. I remember asking him one day how it maintained it - it was a natural high, he would say, from being up at 4:30 AM working out that day. I'm pretty sure I had Liam just before that and I couldn't even think of being awake at that time, but he said, if it mattered, you'd make time for it. Since his passing, that's all I can think about when I read stories about him, see the coverage etc. I've been thinking about what matters, how precious life is, how you really never know when something might happen. And you can live in fear of it all or you can just accept it and make the most of life that you have, which is what I am trying to do. I'm trying to remember the conversations I had with Lt. Joe and the smile he always had on his face, and how anything you asked of him, wasn't a problem. It was so inspiring to see so many people pull together as a community, a community I was honored to work with on the Polar Plunge, a community that amazed me during those days and a community that showed America and everyone what one small community can do if it pulls together. And Lt. Joe was the reason behind it all, he brought the best out of everyone he knew, even the little bit I knew him. I'm sure I can keep writing about him and the situation, again, it has been in my head and heart for so long. So many people sad so many great things about him, the person he was, the spirit he had...and I am choosing to be inspired by it and by him and take this all as a reminder, a reminder that it really doesn't matter if Liam forgets to use the potty, or doesn't listen to something I say. What matters is how I react to it all, so that Liam and Cora can learn to be a happy and grateful person, because that is what I feel right now, grateful - to be here on earth to make a difference, to be able to embrace those kiddos and my husband every night and to be grateful that I have life and to make the most of it. All in all, it's a good day to remember, but it's a better day to be grateful.
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