It's been a good day

It's been a good day.  It's been a busy day, but it's been a good day.  I finally feel I am having feelings about moving.  It hasn't seemed real since it all started.  But now, tonight, as I sit here with most of our life in boxes, realizing how much more life we have left to pack, drinking my glass of wine, I am feeling it all.  I am nervous, that the movers will come and we won't be ready, that we will forget something, that our lives may never be the same.  Then I realize that it's all good, we have a few extra days after the movers to make sure we have everything, that I can come back if we do forget something and that yes, our lives will never be the same.  And I'm all right with that.

I feel that is something that I signed up for, in a way, when I met Sean.  See, he doesn't like to be in one place too long.  I never was like that, I was content where I was, I was happy, enough.  And then, I met Sean and realized how much more potential in life there was for fun and moving forward.  And I got his itch, I wanted more, we wanted more.  And now we are getting it, we are going to make our dream come true...and I am so excited about that.  So excited.  So, that's nervous - and excited.  And nostalgic...I mean, we lived her for 4 years.  I remember the first night in our house, in front of the fire place in our sleeping bags, we just wanted to be here so bad, we didn't want to wait to move it.  We laid there and the world was our canvas, I had no idea, that 4 years ago, I would be where I am with Sean now.  So, yes, I'll be sad, as I said before to leave this house, our home.  I will hope that someday this house will provide that magic and excitement to someone, like Sean and I had.

So, will I cry at some point tomorrow, yes, for sure I will.  After all, my life is in boxes right now and I'm waiting to drive across the country with my family to live our dream.  Of course I am going to cry, I'm also a HUGE sap.  And I will probably dry my tears and then cry a little bit again.  And I'll know that won't be the last time I will cry over the next couple of weeks, but I will also know how much I have to look forward to.

It's been a good day.  I feel like I want to elaborate more on that, but to be honest, at the end of the day, I realize it's been a good, maybe even great day.

There is so much more that will come in the days ahead, the weeks, month ahead...but for now, I am going to just relax and realize it has been a good day.  And I really should get back to packing.  But as long as I keep typing, I can put it off, and maybe make some great, deep down discovery about something.  or maybe it will just mean that I will be up all night putting my life away in boxes.  But whatever the case may be, I am excited to be feeling so scared, nervous, excited and thrilled all at the same time.  It's like the perfect storm in some sense, it's a little bit of everything, like a kid waiting to try something totally new...that's me right now.  And I can run and hide from it, or I can embrace it, I can go with the fact that at some point, very soon, I will be a Colorado resident.  And that makes me smile...so, see, it's been a good day!