...back into running. Yeah, that is my plan. I'm not going to go out tomorrow and knock out 5 miles or run for an hour or anything like that, I'm going to take baby steps to get to my running. We were out on our hike yesterday and I saw a woman running, trial running and I asked Sean when I get to be that awesome. I decided I didn't need to wait for an answer, I decided I get to be as awesome as I wnat to be as soon as I want to be. So, I started today. I started a couch to 5K program. It seemed so funny for me to run 60 seconds, then walk 90 seconds. I mean, I watched the marathon yesterday morning, that was me a few years ago, I was that person out there running, kicking butt and taking names. I remember marathons where before I knew it, I was at mile 15. I also remember marathons where each mile, including number 1 dragged on. And I thought about how much I used to love running. I would torture myself for miles and hours and hours and miles. I'd wake up so early to get my 20 miles in before it got hot. And for the majority of the time, I did it alone. I think I did one 20 mile run with someone - didn't really like it as much as my alone time.
So, that's what I'm looking to get back. Do I want to run 8 minute miles again, of course! Would I want to run another marathon and finally break 4 hours, yes! But will I do either of those tomorrow. No way. Because tomorrow I am going to work on some leg strength and then on Thursday, I'll be back at it, running and walking for my 20 minutes to complete another workout.
See, my breathing set me back a bit, I think. I have been held back by it for far too long. I am hoping it is a bit under control and I can use this run/walk to work on catching my breath. And breathing through my nose and getting my thoughts under control and getting me back to where I want to be mentally as a runner, or rather as an athlete. So, I will take it slow, I will work on my breathing and my form. I will focus on relaxing while I run and remembering why I loved it so much at some point.
But for today, I will feel great, because I did it. I got out there and I worked out. I started a program that I will finish and one that will make me feel better about all the things I will be doing. And I plan on continuing with my running through the winter, into the Spring and next Summer as well. Maybe even get into some races, some longer races, who knows. But again, for today, I'll be happy I went out and did my workout.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Monday, October 6, 2014
Little weekend adventures
Yep, that is why we moved here. Sean and I have been having a hard time finding time to get away for a while, a long weekend, or even an overnight camping trip. We even have been having a tough time getting away on little adventures. I did get away with my parents and Liam when they were in town last week. We took Guanella Pass up and over to Mt. Bierstadt. The colors were great, the drive was fun and we ended up getting some great hot dogs. I'll have to add some pictures later, my phone seems to not want to share them with me right now. My mom and I made out to the dog park for a hike as well. It was a great visit, depsite me being a little sick and I'm sure Liam misses them so much already, I know I do.
But this Sunday, Sean was on call, but not until 5th call. So, we decided we were safe to take a trip out to Elk Meadows. We were watching Ray Ray and I had no desire to take two leashed dogs anywhere - at all. So, Elk Meadows it was. It was great, it was crowded, as usual, but we found a spot and hopped on the trail. Sean carried Liam due to my breathing issues and we ventured a few new ways to explore a bit. It was so nice to be out in nature again, and being able to breath was nice. It was also nice to be with Sean. Not working on this or that project, not worrying about work for a few hours and just being in the moment. It was a lovely day, not too hot at all, almost a little chilly in the shade. Liam had a blast as usual, riding along, talking about how heavy he was, touching trees and saying hi to dogs along the way.
We had our share of suburban adventures as well, some car comparing, a nice dinner at Chili's (where a nice older lady came up to me and told me how cute Liam was, and what a great right hand he had as he chucked a piece of pizza under her husband's chair - she assured me she understood, she had kids as well) and then just some hanging out at parks and such.
It was a nice little weekend of staying put, getting healthy and feeling my spirit with some mountain. Now, I'm already on to next week, I need a little more adventure, something new, something exciting. Time to start planning to see what it will be!
But this Sunday, Sean was on call, but not until 5th call. So, we decided we were safe to take a trip out to Elk Meadows. We were watching Ray Ray and I had no desire to take two leashed dogs anywhere - at all. So, Elk Meadows it was. It was great, it was crowded, as usual, but we found a spot and hopped on the trail. Sean carried Liam due to my breathing issues and we ventured a few new ways to explore a bit. It was so nice to be out in nature again, and being able to breath was nice. It was also nice to be with Sean. Not working on this or that project, not worrying about work for a few hours and just being in the moment. It was a lovely day, not too hot at all, almost a little chilly in the shade. Liam had a blast as usual, riding along, talking about how heavy he was, touching trees and saying hi to dogs along the way.
We had our share of suburban adventures as well, some car comparing, a nice dinner at Chili's (where a nice older lady came up to me and told me how cute Liam was, and what a great right hand he had as he chucked a piece of pizza under her husband's chair - she assured me she understood, she had kids as well) and then just some hanging out at parks and such.
It was a nice little weekend of staying put, getting healthy and feeling my spirit with some mountain. Now, I'm already on to next week, I need a little more adventure, something new, something exciting. Time to start planning to see what it will be!
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Breathing
It's such a simple thing, right, just in and out, move the air and life goes on. Then why I am sitting here with a nebulizer treatment at home. When and why on earth did breathing become such a chore for me, and why now? I guess I should back up, I had some issues, was on some inhalers, one of which was a steroid and I stopped that about a month ago. Things seemed to be all right until some allergies and or sickness took hold of me. I had a few doctors appointments and mostly again no one really knows what's wrong with me, which is quite frustrating.
So, I came home on Wednesday, after I thought I was all better and things got worse, way worse. At some point, a cloud settled on our house and things got bad. Liam even started to cough and wheeze, I have no idea what was in the air or our systems, but I do know it sucked. I was worried about not being able to breath, Liam wasn't as concerned with his wheezing as we were, he was just playing around with Dot and Papa while I was upstairs with Sean not sure what was going on. I'll mostly keep it brief. I tried to tough through it, I tried a few medicines, I tried a hot steamy shower and that was my breaking point. I recall being in the bathroom telling Sean I needed something, anything and I couldn't breath. Now, in my head, when this happened I knew was Sean was thinking, he was thinking what he has told me about patients that are telling him they can't breath - if you are talking, you can breath. I tried to make that make sense in my head, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I was upset and freaking out and at a loss for what to do. Thankfully, Liam was still downstairs having a great time staying up way too late once again.
So, finally I told Sean we had to go somewhere, I needed something and we didn't have it. I did feel better after my freak out, but knew that I wasn't fine. So we went to the ER, got in pretty quick, did a quick nebulizer, got some steroids and went on our way. I felt better, not great, but better for sure, until I hit the stairs to our house, then I was gasping again for air. So, I took my time, slowed everything down and mustered up enough breath to make it upstairs to get to bed. I slept decent enough and was up the next day, getting ready to make my doctor's appointment with an allergist when Liam started to cough more. My parents were leaving that day and I was just in rough shape. Sean was off at work and it was going to be me, who can barely catch my breath and a toddler with a little cough. Now, I could have taken him to day care, but I wouldn't felt right about it, he maybe had something, so I made an appointment for him. My parents left, with plenty of tears from me, feeling bad I was sick when they were here, but being grateful they were here. The morning went well and I got him down for a nap pretty successful, along with me. And of course, when I was setting the alarm for us to get up, I forgot that I was going to some issues rushing.
Finally, we made it where we were going, a few minutes late, but made it. I took a few tests, got another treatment and met with the doctor. She was very concerned about me, I'm thinking I shouldn't have told her about the shape I was in last night, she might have had been intubated. Anyways, Liam was a pretty good kid, considering, she was very through and we worked out my best plan on action, sending home a nebulizer with me, prednisone for a few days and a different steroid inhaler.
So, I put myself on bed rest on Friday. Thankfully I got to work from home and Liam went to day care. I moved from the bed, to the couch, back to the bed. I did get up at some point and eat some dinner and played with Liam. But I felt like I needed to make myself sit still and stop. It's like this breathing issues was a warning for me to slow down and not forget about me. See, I have lots going on, more than I even realize sometimes and sometimes, I forget to take care of all of that. I recall this happened to me once a few years ago (probably more than a few years ago). I ran my marathon, and took maybe a day off and was back at it. The following Sunday, I twisted my ankle worse than I had in a long time...not fun, but again, a time to slow down. And while I long to be in that great running shape again someday, I'm not going to get anywhere until I get this breathing thing figured out. Maybe it was a bug, bronchitis again, maybe it was allergies, but who knows. I'd like to know since no one seems to have any idea.
So, I am going next week to a lung doctor, which is good, I guess. I mean, let's be honest, we all know how I feel about doctors, especially the last one that used his iPhone to give me something of no help. I mean, I probably could have figured out how to fix myself had I remembered last year around this time when I was sick, etc. But the lady I saw last week had genuine concern for me, which was nice. She wants to help me and make sure that I'm on the right road and she is enlisting help. Of course, who knows how much all of this will cost in the end, but I guess if someone figures out what is wrong with me, it'll be worth it, right?
So, yeah, breathing, it's a great thing, it feels so good to be able to do it again. And even though I am still doing a few treatments and drugs, I'm getting there. Let's just hope the drugs were all worth it and I have no other issues.
So, I came home on Wednesday, after I thought I was all better and things got worse, way worse. At some point, a cloud settled on our house and things got bad. Liam even started to cough and wheeze, I have no idea what was in the air or our systems, but I do know it sucked. I was worried about not being able to breath, Liam wasn't as concerned with his wheezing as we were, he was just playing around with Dot and Papa while I was upstairs with Sean not sure what was going on. I'll mostly keep it brief. I tried to tough through it, I tried a few medicines, I tried a hot steamy shower and that was my breaking point. I recall being in the bathroom telling Sean I needed something, anything and I couldn't breath. Now, in my head, when this happened I knew was Sean was thinking, he was thinking what he has told me about patients that are telling him they can't breath - if you are talking, you can breath. I tried to make that make sense in my head, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I was upset and freaking out and at a loss for what to do. Thankfully, Liam was still downstairs having a great time staying up way too late once again.
So, finally I told Sean we had to go somewhere, I needed something and we didn't have it. I did feel better after my freak out, but knew that I wasn't fine. So we went to the ER, got in pretty quick, did a quick nebulizer, got some steroids and went on our way. I felt better, not great, but better for sure, until I hit the stairs to our house, then I was gasping again for air. So, I took my time, slowed everything down and mustered up enough breath to make it upstairs to get to bed. I slept decent enough and was up the next day, getting ready to make my doctor's appointment with an allergist when Liam started to cough more. My parents were leaving that day and I was just in rough shape. Sean was off at work and it was going to be me, who can barely catch my breath and a toddler with a little cough. Now, I could have taken him to day care, but I wouldn't felt right about it, he maybe had something, so I made an appointment for him. My parents left, with plenty of tears from me, feeling bad I was sick when they were here, but being grateful they were here. The morning went well and I got him down for a nap pretty successful, along with me. And of course, when I was setting the alarm for us to get up, I forgot that I was going to some issues rushing.
Finally, we made it where we were going, a few minutes late, but made it. I took a few tests, got another treatment and met with the doctor. She was very concerned about me, I'm thinking I shouldn't have told her about the shape I was in last night, she might have had been intubated. Anyways, Liam was a pretty good kid, considering, she was very through and we worked out my best plan on action, sending home a nebulizer with me, prednisone for a few days and a different steroid inhaler.
So, I put myself on bed rest on Friday. Thankfully I got to work from home and Liam went to day care. I moved from the bed, to the couch, back to the bed. I did get up at some point and eat some dinner and played with Liam. But I felt like I needed to make myself sit still and stop. It's like this breathing issues was a warning for me to slow down and not forget about me. See, I have lots going on, more than I even realize sometimes and sometimes, I forget to take care of all of that. I recall this happened to me once a few years ago (probably more than a few years ago). I ran my marathon, and took maybe a day off and was back at it. The following Sunday, I twisted my ankle worse than I had in a long time...not fun, but again, a time to slow down. And while I long to be in that great running shape again someday, I'm not going to get anywhere until I get this breathing thing figured out. Maybe it was a bug, bronchitis again, maybe it was allergies, but who knows. I'd like to know since no one seems to have any idea.
So, I am going next week to a lung doctor, which is good, I guess. I mean, let's be honest, we all know how I feel about doctors, especially the last one that used his iPhone to give me something of no help. I mean, I probably could have figured out how to fix myself had I remembered last year around this time when I was sick, etc. But the lady I saw last week had genuine concern for me, which was nice. She wants to help me and make sure that I'm on the right road and she is enlisting help. Of course, who knows how much all of this will cost in the end, but I guess if someone figures out what is wrong with me, it'll be worth it, right?
So, yeah, breathing, it's a great thing, it feels so good to be able to do it again. And even though I am still doing a few treatments and drugs, I'm getting there. Let's just hope the drugs were all worth it and I have no other issues.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Remembering...
...I have been on a big kick of remembering things lately, and no, I don't mean where my wallet, keys and phone are, lord knows I typically never know where those things are. I mean things from the past, you know, memories. I think it tends to happen around this time, around the US Open time. It was crazy to think that 13 years ago, Susie and I took one of the best, most action packed trips of my adult vacations. I'll admit, we had taken some other good ones and my recent trips to snowboard (Whistler) were quite awesome as well, but this trip, I don't know, this trip had something else to it.
We were just talking about it the other day, randomly piecing today the trip. She would mention parts I totally forgot about, then I'd bring up something to remember that she forgot about. I thought it might be fun to recap the trip - and of course, there will be some sort of great message at the end. We headed out for our trip in the evening, like usual. For some reason, we always drove at night, didn't want to waste vacation time sleeping (ha, I laugh at that now, I think I'd love a vacation of just sleeping!). We drove and drove, somewhere in Ohio I got my first speeding ticket, I think I was going 80 in a 65 - so lame. I pretended like I had a plan to talk my way out of it, but then the cop pulled up, I just gave in and accepted the ticket. Our first stop was to Oneonta to see the Soccer Hall of Fame. This wasn't Susie's big thing, but she was happy to go along since the trip was about tennis, something which I had grown to love, but not nearly as much as she did. So, we did that, walked around for a while, checked it out - it was pretty awesome and at that time, I was still pretty obsessed with soccer. It was also a nice chance to get out of the car.
Our next stop was moe.Down in Turin, New York. We were huge fans of moe. and similar jam bands, it was going to be an awesome weekend full of camping, music and hanging out. Well, turns out were got there a little more tired than we thought we were. We got the tent set up and both crashed pretty soon after that. We were woken to some rain and music. We decided to keep dry and sleeping and catch plenty of music the next day. The next day got us up nice and early with sunshine and music. It was a great weekend, still remember the last song of the festive being Boogie Oogy Oogy and watching fireworks over the mountain and recall one guy saying something to the extent of "I had thought I boogied oogied all my boogie oogy out, and then that some came on and I boogie oogied even more." Ah, music festivals, always so fun, just happy people loving life - good times for sure.
By the time we left, it was time for a serious shower and bed. Now, let's remember this is 13 years ago, I know I had a cell phone, but it wasn't smart and the Internet, while it existed, it wasn't at the tip of our fingers. So, before we left, we arranged to stay at some hostel in the heart of New York. We wanted to experience New York on this trip and we were going to do that on the cheap. We pulled up to the hostel and well, I'm not sure what we were expecting, but that wasn't it. I knew we weren't gong to get a lot, but I didn't expect we would hear the person next to us eating chips in their room. So, we checked it, went to our "room", which was 2 beds with some partitions around it and we tried to think about what to do. First thing was first, we needed a shower. I took a shower first and let Susie try and think about what we want to do. We discussed when I came out that we weren't sure we could stay here, not sure we wanted to experience that much New York. So, while she took a shower, I decided to call my mom to get out her Super 8 book to find us a hotel. Susie got out of the shower and informed me she heard the whole conversation - I know I'm loud, but I'm not that loud.
So, we left our bags in our room and headed down to the good old Focus to make some phone calls. As we were leaving, the dude in charge yelled that we needed to give him our key before we left...even though our items were still up there. So, maybe that's how hostels go, but I wasn't cool with that. We made some phone calls, got a hotel in a suburb about 30 minutes from where we were, went back inside and got our stuff. We explained to the man that we weren't going to stay there, he actually refunded all our money and we left - as we heard him yell, you won't find anywhere cheaper and we were all right with that.
So, back in the car we went, up to our new hotel, an actual hotel with beds and walls and a bathroom of our own. I look back and think had we just had walls and maybe a window, we could have been fine with the hostel, but well, it was what it was, we moved along.
I'm not sure what happened on what days, but here is a summary, we watched some tennis, the first person we got to see was Guga, who was one of Susie's favorites. There were crazy gnats during that match. We got to see Andy Roddick win one match (and sneak down to get great seats) and get screwed by an officials bad call in another match. We watched other tennis and had some really tasty drinks. We hit up Old Navy for shopping. We took the ferry to Ellis Island and walked around, we got some great pictures of the twin towers. We went to Battery Park and decided we didn't need to go up the Twin Towers, we can do that in Chicago, little did we know they would be gone in just a few days. We watched more tennis, in person and on tv. The epic match between Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras - yeah, we watched that from our hotel room, eating some New York Style pizza. We went to a Yankees/Red Sox game, we saw a streaker there and met some other interesting people. We needed to see more tennis so we took a subway to get more tickets. We almost got kicked out trying to sneak better seats, we watched the finals and headed home.
We drove all night long and got home at some point Monday night. I went to bed. Susie and I had plans to meet up, get pictures developed, go through them, watch the tennis we just watched on TV. Then we woke up and plans changed. I remember my dad was home, watching the news, not saying too much. I woke up after the second plane hit, so I didn't see any of it, just the aftermath. I'm pretty sure I called Susie right away and we both nixed our plan, realized how lucky we were to have left and just how crazy it all was. We hung up and I was glued to the TV. My dad filled me in, I asked if it was an accident, pretty sure he laughed at me. I got a string of phone calls from people, making sure I was home. I just sat there and watched and watched and watched. It was like I couldn't see it enough to believe it. I decided I had to get away, stop watching it, I went for a run in Busse Woods. It was one of the creepiest runs I had ever been on. It was silent. My parents live pretty close to O'Hare, so airplanes, we hardly noticed them, but when they weren't there, man, was it strange. There was nothing, no noise, just quiet. Just me and my run. I said quite a few prayers on my run that day, to watch over those that were killed, injured, working to save anyone they can. I prayed for us to be safe, for the attacks to stop, for the world to be at peace.
It was a crazy to watch it all unfold and to have some sort of connection to it. Of course, I had a tiny, insignificant connection, but it was something. When I got my pictures developed, I found the picture I took of the sky line. The towers were still there, it was 5 days before the attack. As I unpacked, I found the magnet I got my grandparents, one of the skyline that had the towers on it also. I have that magnet still, somehow was a reminder of simpler times, I guess.
So, here I am, remembering it all, the trip that had so many crazy moments, I hope I caught them all, the sadness that surrounds that trip we took and today, 9/11, a day that will never mean the same again, a day that changed history like so many other days in the past. It was a day where we all remember where we were an what we were doing, it was the moment in our lives that we will tell our kids about when they learn about it history. It's crazy, how moments like that work, I remember talking to my mom about it, she said it was like when JFK was shot, everyone knows where they were. There are so many tragic moments in history like this, that cause us to remember tragedy instead of triumph. Maybe we should turn the table on that, remember good things, like where were you when the Berlin Wall came tumbling down (I remember being too young to remember). That was a huge moment in history, perhaps not US history, but history nonetheless.
It's funny how all of this takes on a different twist when you have a child. The news coverage likes us to remember the bombs, the school shootings, the wars, but I know I will always want to protect Liam from that. I'd love for Liam to have stories for his kids that a positive, that he remembers the world peace that the President negotiated with the UN. The festivals we have that embrace and accept everyone. And while I tend to be very optimistic, to a fault sometimes, I don't see any of that happening anytime soon. I suppose I just have to along with the old saying of being the change I want to see in the world and while I know I can't protect my little man from all bad things, I sure can open his eyes to the positive side of the world, that is if I can see it as well.
So for now, I will remember those that we lost, the lives, the safety, the innocence, but by no means should it be a day for that only. I will also remember the heros who saved lives, the way strangers who helped those that needed, the way a nation came together as one, in hopes we can do it again, but this time without such a tragedy being the reason behind it.
We were just talking about it the other day, randomly piecing today the trip. She would mention parts I totally forgot about, then I'd bring up something to remember that she forgot about. I thought it might be fun to recap the trip - and of course, there will be some sort of great message at the end. We headed out for our trip in the evening, like usual. For some reason, we always drove at night, didn't want to waste vacation time sleeping (ha, I laugh at that now, I think I'd love a vacation of just sleeping!). We drove and drove, somewhere in Ohio I got my first speeding ticket, I think I was going 80 in a 65 - so lame. I pretended like I had a plan to talk my way out of it, but then the cop pulled up, I just gave in and accepted the ticket. Our first stop was to Oneonta to see the Soccer Hall of Fame. This wasn't Susie's big thing, but she was happy to go along since the trip was about tennis, something which I had grown to love, but not nearly as much as she did. So, we did that, walked around for a while, checked it out - it was pretty awesome and at that time, I was still pretty obsessed with soccer. It was also a nice chance to get out of the car.
Our next stop was moe.Down in Turin, New York. We were huge fans of moe. and similar jam bands, it was going to be an awesome weekend full of camping, music and hanging out. Well, turns out were got there a little more tired than we thought we were. We got the tent set up and both crashed pretty soon after that. We were woken to some rain and music. We decided to keep dry and sleeping and catch plenty of music the next day. The next day got us up nice and early with sunshine and music. It was a great weekend, still remember the last song of the festive being Boogie Oogy Oogy and watching fireworks over the mountain and recall one guy saying something to the extent of "I had thought I boogied oogied all my boogie oogy out, and then that some came on and I boogie oogied even more." Ah, music festivals, always so fun, just happy people loving life - good times for sure.
By the time we left, it was time for a serious shower and bed. Now, let's remember this is 13 years ago, I know I had a cell phone, but it wasn't smart and the Internet, while it existed, it wasn't at the tip of our fingers. So, before we left, we arranged to stay at some hostel in the heart of New York. We wanted to experience New York on this trip and we were going to do that on the cheap. We pulled up to the hostel and well, I'm not sure what we were expecting, but that wasn't it. I knew we weren't gong to get a lot, but I didn't expect we would hear the person next to us eating chips in their room. So, we checked it, went to our "room", which was 2 beds with some partitions around it and we tried to think about what to do. First thing was first, we needed a shower. I took a shower first and let Susie try and think about what we want to do. We discussed when I came out that we weren't sure we could stay here, not sure we wanted to experience that much New York. So, while she took a shower, I decided to call my mom to get out her Super 8 book to find us a hotel. Susie got out of the shower and informed me she heard the whole conversation - I know I'm loud, but I'm not that loud.
So, we left our bags in our room and headed down to the good old Focus to make some phone calls. As we were leaving, the dude in charge yelled that we needed to give him our key before we left...even though our items were still up there. So, maybe that's how hostels go, but I wasn't cool with that. We made some phone calls, got a hotel in a suburb about 30 minutes from where we were, went back inside and got our stuff. We explained to the man that we weren't going to stay there, he actually refunded all our money and we left - as we heard him yell, you won't find anywhere cheaper and we were all right with that.
So, back in the car we went, up to our new hotel, an actual hotel with beds and walls and a bathroom of our own. I look back and think had we just had walls and maybe a window, we could have been fine with the hostel, but well, it was what it was, we moved along.
I'm not sure what happened on what days, but here is a summary, we watched some tennis, the first person we got to see was Guga, who was one of Susie's favorites. There were crazy gnats during that match. We got to see Andy Roddick win one match (and sneak down to get great seats) and get screwed by an officials bad call in another match. We watched other tennis and had some really tasty drinks. We hit up Old Navy for shopping. We took the ferry to Ellis Island and walked around, we got some great pictures of the twin towers. We went to Battery Park and decided we didn't need to go up the Twin Towers, we can do that in Chicago, little did we know they would be gone in just a few days. We watched more tennis, in person and on tv. The epic match between Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras - yeah, we watched that from our hotel room, eating some New York Style pizza. We went to a Yankees/Red Sox game, we saw a streaker there and met some other interesting people. We needed to see more tennis so we took a subway to get more tickets. We almost got kicked out trying to sneak better seats, we watched the finals and headed home.
We drove all night long and got home at some point Monday night. I went to bed. Susie and I had plans to meet up, get pictures developed, go through them, watch the tennis we just watched on TV. Then we woke up and plans changed. I remember my dad was home, watching the news, not saying too much. I woke up after the second plane hit, so I didn't see any of it, just the aftermath. I'm pretty sure I called Susie right away and we both nixed our plan, realized how lucky we were to have left and just how crazy it all was. We hung up and I was glued to the TV. My dad filled me in, I asked if it was an accident, pretty sure he laughed at me. I got a string of phone calls from people, making sure I was home. I just sat there and watched and watched and watched. It was like I couldn't see it enough to believe it. I decided I had to get away, stop watching it, I went for a run in Busse Woods. It was one of the creepiest runs I had ever been on. It was silent. My parents live pretty close to O'Hare, so airplanes, we hardly noticed them, but when they weren't there, man, was it strange. There was nothing, no noise, just quiet. Just me and my run. I said quite a few prayers on my run that day, to watch over those that were killed, injured, working to save anyone they can. I prayed for us to be safe, for the attacks to stop, for the world to be at peace.
It was a crazy to watch it all unfold and to have some sort of connection to it. Of course, I had a tiny, insignificant connection, but it was something. When I got my pictures developed, I found the picture I took of the sky line. The towers were still there, it was 5 days before the attack. As I unpacked, I found the magnet I got my grandparents, one of the skyline that had the towers on it also. I have that magnet still, somehow was a reminder of simpler times, I guess.
So, here I am, remembering it all, the trip that had so many crazy moments, I hope I caught them all, the sadness that surrounds that trip we took and today, 9/11, a day that will never mean the same again, a day that changed history like so many other days in the past. It was a day where we all remember where we were an what we were doing, it was the moment in our lives that we will tell our kids about when they learn about it history. It's crazy, how moments like that work, I remember talking to my mom about it, she said it was like when JFK was shot, everyone knows where they were. There are so many tragic moments in history like this, that cause us to remember tragedy instead of triumph. Maybe we should turn the table on that, remember good things, like where were you when the Berlin Wall came tumbling down (I remember being too young to remember). That was a huge moment in history, perhaps not US history, but history nonetheless.
It's funny how all of this takes on a different twist when you have a child. The news coverage likes us to remember the bombs, the school shootings, the wars, but I know I will always want to protect Liam from that. I'd love for Liam to have stories for his kids that a positive, that he remembers the world peace that the President negotiated with the UN. The festivals we have that embrace and accept everyone. And while I tend to be very optimistic, to a fault sometimes, I don't see any of that happening anytime soon. I suppose I just have to along with the old saying of being the change I want to see in the world and while I know I can't protect my little man from all bad things, I sure can open his eyes to the positive side of the world, that is if I can see it as well.
So for now, I will remember those that we lost, the lives, the safety, the innocence, but by no means should it be a day for that only. I will also remember the heros who saved lives, the way strangers who helped those that needed, the way a nation came together as one, in hopes we can do it again, but this time without such a tragedy being the reason behind it.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Ahhh, more climbing....
I know, that's a little less than exciting, to keep talking about climbing. I could talk a bit about the weekend. We had a nice time, saw Sean's Lemons race, hung out with some friends, got a nice hike in at the dog park, had a lovely dinner by the creek, saw elk and deer and yes, it was a great weekend. I don't think I am taking my weekends for granted, I just know that I have written about those things and I have to try to keep things a little exciting.
Ha, which is why I am writing about climbing. I am excited about climbing again, I love it. I can't believe how much I missed it. Even as my forearms burn as I type this, it's totally worth it. The feeling of making a move that you couldn't make last time, or making it almost to the top of the 5.9 that you weren't even close to last time, those feelings can't be summed up in anything other than awesome. Ugh, and I can't stop thinking about this one route today for some reason, a 5.9, that I think I tried before, but didn't make it as far as I did this time and duh, the hold I needed was right in front of me, but I missed it.
Anyways, lessons from climbing today - my grip strength is improving quickly and dramatically, which is why I made it as far as I did today up my 5.9. My technique, while it is still pretty crappy is getting me to the top of some pretty tough routes and getting me past some cruxes that I didn't think I'd get past. And to be honest, right now, my technique is the least of my concern. I laughed about it the other day...the last time I climbed regularly was when I was super pregnant, you know past pregnant. So my technique changed, it's hard to stay close to wall when the last time you climbed serious you had a belly bigger than a whale - and a cow, I think I was a cow-whale at that stage. So, anyways, I am working on keeping my hips in, but mostly I am working on building my endurance and strength. I have plenty of time until next summer, until I can work hard and get myself ready for our serious summer of climbing. And I am going to laugh at my poor fake belly technique and be a little pissed when I miss that hold right in front of me, and be thrilled when I leave the gym, sweaty with my arms throbbing so much it is a challenge to hold the steering wheel, ah, yes, climbing...what a wonderful way to get my body moving.
Ooh, and I just realized, I'll have calluses again in no time! :)
Ha, which is why I am writing about climbing. I am excited about climbing again, I love it. I can't believe how much I missed it. Even as my forearms burn as I type this, it's totally worth it. The feeling of making a move that you couldn't make last time, or making it almost to the top of the 5.9 that you weren't even close to last time, those feelings can't be summed up in anything other than awesome. Ugh, and I can't stop thinking about this one route today for some reason, a 5.9, that I think I tried before, but didn't make it as far as I did this time and duh, the hold I needed was right in front of me, but I missed it.
Anyways, lessons from climbing today - my grip strength is improving quickly and dramatically, which is why I made it as far as I did today up my 5.9. My technique, while it is still pretty crappy is getting me to the top of some pretty tough routes and getting me past some cruxes that I didn't think I'd get past. And to be honest, right now, my technique is the least of my concern. I laughed about it the other day...the last time I climbed regularly was when I was super pregnant, you know past pregnant. So my technique changed, it's hard to stay close to wall when the last time you climbed serious you had a belly bigger than a whale - and a cow, I think I was a cow-whale at that stage. So, anyways, I am working on keeping my hips in, but mostly I am working on building my endurance and strength. I have plenty of time until next summer, until I can work hard and get myself ready for our serious summer of climbing. And I am going to laugh at my poor fake belly technique and be a little pissed when I miss that hold right in front of me, and be thrilled when I leave the gym, sweaty with my arms throbbing so much it is a challenge to hold the steering wheel, ah, yes, climbing...what a wonderful way to get my body moving.
Ooh, and I just realized, I'll have calluses again in no time! :)
Friday, September 5, 2014
Climbing
Ah yes, climbing, the pain I feel from typing right now after a great quick lunch time climb. The forearms that are bulging right now due to my terrible form and lack of my use of legs and technique. But ah, it feels so good, it feels right to be back on the wall. I decided our next summer was going to be our year of climbing. We would find people to take with us, we would take Liam and hit the wall. He will be older, hopefully want to do it as well and we can get better and more accustomed to the outdoors. I was going to say again, but then I realized we have only climbed outside a handful of times, meaning counting on one hand. And I'd like to change that.
It's tough here sometimes, to decide what to do, to make the choice and focus on one thing and have it take up most of your time. There are so many things we want to do, climb, hike, bike, off-road, you name, we want to do it. So, how do you get good at all the things you want to do? I decided we need to devote each season to something, pick one thing to really focus on. It will be able to get us more in shape overall and we will still do other things, but the majority of our focus will be on that one thing. And for me, next year, it's climbing. Camping of course goes with that, which is even more exciting. After all, I am a little upset we haven't been out camping, even just in our own backyard.
I remember we had a busy spring and summer and I am reminded it will tend to always be busy. I think we will make a few more choices about our trips back to IL, to try and consolodate them a bit more than we did this year. That'll give us a little more time out here to get a few more things done. Anyways, back to climbing, ah, I just love it. It is so much fun to be on the wall, trying to figure out what to do, trying to make a move that just shouldn't happen, tackling the crux. It always feels so great to make that move, but I tend to learn a great deal more when I miss that move. I did that today, on a route I had done at least a few times before. It was frustrating a little disappointing to not complete the route I knew I could complete, but I just didn't have it in me. I had more climbs under my belt and my arms were a bit more tired. I slipped off the wall. I looked at the route from the ground, was sure I could nail it the second time, but nope, just slipped off at the same spot, lacking a wee bit of strength. And I called it for the day, I huslted up 3 climbs, all right after the other, and tackled a few more out of my league. I feel it and it feels great. It just makes me smile to watch my arms tremble with tiredness. And I can't wait to go back. I forgot just how addicted to climbing I was for a while and how great it felt. And how great it will be to be back like that, going at least once a week, maybe more, knowing the more I go, the better and stronger I get, the more I will get out of my workouts. Ah yes, the pain, the pain is great and I'l thrilled, time to stretch and get some feeling back in my hands, but don't expect this to be my last post about climbing, I have a feeling this is only the beginning!
It's tough here sometimes, to decide what to do, to make the choice and focus on one thing and have it take up most of your time. There are so many things we want to do, climb, hike, bike, off-road, you name, we want to do it. So, how do you get good at all the things you want to do? I decided we need to devote each season to something, pick one thing to really focus on. It will be able to get us more in shape overall and we will still do other things, but the majority of our focus will be on that one thing. And for me, next year, it's climbing. Camping of course goes with that, which is even more exciting. After all, I am a little upset we haven't been out camping, even just in our own backyard.
I remember we had a busy spring and summer and I am reminded it will tend to always be busy. I think we will make a few more choices about our trips back to IL, to try and consolodate them a bit more than we did this year. That'll give us a little more time out here to get a few more things done. Anyways, back to climbing, ah, I just love it. It is so much fun to be on the wall, trying to figure out what to do, trying to make a move that just shouldn't happen, tackling the crux. It always feels so great to make that move, but I tend to learn a great deal more when I miss that move. I did that today, on a route I had done at least a few times before. It was frustrating a little disappointing to not complete the route I knew I could complete, but I just didn't have it in me. I had more climbs under my belt and my arms were a bit more tired. I slipped off the wall. I looked at the route from the ground, was sure I could nail it the second time, but nope, just slipped off at the same spot, lacking a wee bit of strength. And I called it for the day, I huslted up 3 climbs, all right after the other, and tackled a few more out of my league. I feel it and it feels great. It just makes me smile to watch my arms tremble with tiredness. And I can't wait to go back. I forgot just how addicted to climbing I was for a while and how great it felt. And how great it will be to be back like that, going at least once a week, maybe more, knowing the more I go, the better and stronger I get, the more I will get out of my workouts. Ah yes, the pain, the pain is great and I'l thrilled, time to stretch and get some feeling back in my hands, but don't expect this to be my last post about climbing, I have a feeling this is only the beginning!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Party
This past weekend, we had our first official party in Colorado. We did have our usual Spring Shake Down, but we only had a few guests, so it was much less work, but still so much fun. So, this past weekend was it, it was a chance to invite new people, make new friends and show off our house. Of course, in tyipcal Foege fashuion, we weren't totally prepared to host a party, I would have loved to have done a million more things, but well, that's how our parties typically go. I'm pretty sure I remember installing a bathroom vanity the morning of one of our parties and painting the kitchen the morning of another. By those standards, we were in pretty good shape. Sure, not every tree was trimmed and not every corner was cleaned, but the party was going to happen nonetheless!
And it was odd getting ready for it, not having the usual suspects. I joked with my mom on Friday about how we might not have any plates, napkins or silverware at the party since they weren't coming. She typically just showed up with those items, without question. Thankfully the party box was located and I found most of what we needed. It was still different, it was a whole different crew of people. I think Erik and Bethany were the only people that were a party repeater for us, everyone else was new to our party scene, so we knew we had to make it a succcess.
We started the day at the dogpark, a nice refreshing hike to get us going, get Burton some energy and get me some much needed mountain time. We headed home and started to prepare. I will admit that I was a little out of party practice. Typically I do a pretty good job of getting everything set beforehand so I have time to hang out and talk to people. I wasn't so good at this part. I'm not sure if I had too many things going on, or just too many places to be, but I failed at socializing very much. I was either in the kitchen prepping something, or chasing Liam up the stairs, or making him share his toys...who knows, just wasn't the best hostess. I thought I had things ready so I could just relax, but alas, I was cooking this or that, or the other thing, or Sean was getting food on the grill.
But in the end, it was a party, it was a pretty good party. I am used to my party review committee telling me how things really went, so I'll have to form a new one of those as well. We met new people, had people come that we didn't expect and boy, I can't wait until Liam is just a little older to go and play in the woods with the other kids. He was so sad he couldn't. Maybe mommy should just ligthen up, or maybe he should just grow a bit more and then we will be good. But I already think he is growing up too fast - not sure how to slow that down or keep him how he is. Guess that is another topic for another blog. For now, I'll call it a successful party, the dishes are finally washed and mostly put away. The house is back in order, ready to settle in and just relax for a while. Of course, not this weekend, this weekend is Sean's 24 Hours of Lemons racing. Maybe soon we will get to calm down a little bit! But probably not! :)
And it was odd getting ready for it, not having the usual suspects. I joked with my mom on Friday about how we might not have any plates, napkins or silverware at the party since they weren't coming. She typically just showed up with those items, without question. Thankfully the party box was located and I found most of what we needed. It was still different, it was a whole different crew of people. I think Erik and Bethany were the only people that were a party repeater for us, everyone else was new to our party scene, so we knew we had to make it a succcess.
We started the day at the dogpark, a nice refreshing hike to get us going, get Burton some energy and get me some much needed mountain time. We headed home and started to prepare. I will admit that I was a little out of party practice. Typically I do a pretty good job of getting everything set beforehand so I have time to hang out and talk to people. I wasn't so good at this part. I'm not sure if I had too many things going on, or just too many places to be, but I failed at socializing very much. I was either in the kitchen prepping something, or chasing Liam up the stairs, or making him share his toys...who knows, just wasn't the best hostess. I thought I had things ready so I could just relax, but alas, I was cooking this or that, or the other thing, or Sean was getting food on the grill.
But in the end, it was a party, it was a pretty good party. I am used to my party review committee telling me how things really went, so I'll have to form a new one of those as well. We met new people, had people come that we didn't expect and boy, I can't wait until Liam is just a little older to go and play in the woods with the other kids. He was so sad he couldn't. Maybe mommy should just ligthen up, or maybe he should just grow a bit more and then we will be good. But I already think he is growing up too fast - not sure how to slow that down or keep him how he is. Guess that is another topic for another blog. For now, I'll call it a successful party, the dishes are finally washed and mostly put away. The house is back in order, ready to settle in and just relax for a while. Of course, not this weekend, this weekend is Sean's 24 Hours of Lemons racing. Maybe soon we will get to calm down a little bit! But probably not! :)
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