Packing has begun

I got home today to find my house in a bit of a mess, a small, somewhat organized mess, pretty much assuming it will be in that state for the next few weeks.  But that means packing has begun, Sean starting getting a few things in crates and boxes.  Things are getting packed up, pictures are off the walls and it still seems a bit not real to me.  I wonder when it will feel real...when all of our things are packed up in our trailer, when Sean is in Colorado and I am still here, when I am living out of a suitcase for now with Liam and Burton.  Or maybe it won't be real until I actually move out there and leave my job.

See, while I would love to join Sean in less than a month in Colorado, it is just in our best interest to not do that.  I wouldn't have a job, our insurance (with Sean) wouldn't kick in for 30 days after he starts his job.  And well, had we sold our house, we could probably get by for a few months without me having a job, but that didn't happen.  So, I will stay here, keep working and keeping our insurance.  I will keep my salary and we will keep some money in our savings, but boy, it is going to be hard, hard to be away from Sean, as my husband and best friend and especially as Liam's daddy.  And I am sure it will be hard for him to be away.  I'm sure there will be plenty more blogs on that as we get closer to that and while it is happening.  But for now, I am going to enjoy the nights I have with Sean, whether it be packing, lounging around, cleaning or spending the night making baby food - Liam is stocked up, huge back of carrots, giant container of spinach, 5 avocados and 4 sweet potatoes - hoping that will keep him full for a while!  But again, the hard times will be worth it!

And yes, I still wonder if we are doing the right thing.  But it is happening, we made an educated decision and followed our hearts.  I am hoping that we will find our inner strength to stand on our own and create a life that we both dream of.