New life

People keep asking me if I'm excited about our move, how things are going and blah, blah, blah.  It's hard for me to answer that.  I don't know how I feel, I don't know how to feel because except for the fact that I live with my parents, my life isn't any different.  I don't have a new life yet.  I don't have a new job to meet people at, I don't wake up to the mountain sun rise.  I don't watch the weather and wonder if I will make it up the driveway when I get home.  I don't get to go out hiking on a weekend.  I don't get to go to the local bar to meet people.

So, I guess I'm a bit jealous, a bit jealous Sean has all this time out there, that he gets to start his new life without us.  I know he misses us, but I also know that he can't get what I am going through.  I do appreciate that I can be here and spend some more time with people here, but I also talk to him and long to be with him, to be on this new adventure together.  It's hard, to hear him meet new people, have dinner with this couple or that couple, meeting these people for drinks and all of that.  I am happy, so happy he has things to do, so happy that his new life is going well.  But it is just hard, hard to be away from him and hard to be stuck here in this life when I know there is so much more out there - so much more that Sean gets to experience and be a part of - and me, I am just stuck here.

I know I should appreciate what I do have, and I do.  I just wish I had more feelings of excitement about it all, more to talk about because I've been there and have lived the new life.  I guess I just let it be what it is...and be happy that Sean is keeping busy and be excited to hear about his new life - and look forward to sharing that with him soon.