Stronger

This morning on my way to work the saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  And while I agree with that, there is more to it than just being made stronger.  You have to want to fight to get stronger.  I'll admit, the past few days have been REALLY hard without Sean.  I have just felt something inside of me want to give up, just wanted to quit and sit in a corner and cry until I got to see Sean again.  Then today, or yesterday, something clicked with me.  I let go of the wanting to cry in a corner and decided that I have 2 more weeks to step up and take care of me and my Liam until I am back with my husband again.  Maybe it's my cozy cuddle duds, or maybe my new outfit, maybe it is because I will see Sean in less than 2 weeks, or maybe just maybe the saying was right.  I wasn't dead.  I was stronger.

I was done being crabby and annoyed about things, I'm done being worried about things I can't control anymore.  It has been hard, really hard for me to let go of work.  I want everything to stay how it was, because I felt like I did a good job.  And I know I felt that way when I left Chicago, but then I had another job to worry about, so I could only worry about it so much.  But for now, it is what it is.  I can only do so much to dictate how things go next year, and then I can just step away and wish everyone the best.  I always joked that I could do my job in Colorado, but now, now I have a new job to do out there!  And well, maybe that has provided me some relief as well.  I have a job, and not just any job, perhaps my dream job with Special Olympics in my dream state!  Woo hoo!  Yes, and I can finally say something about it.  I can scream it to the mountains, ha, that will take on a whole new meaning soon!

So yeah, life has been dragging me down, sucking my energy and just overall kicking my butt.  And I'm done with it, I'm ready to kick back.  I was down, but I am certainly not out.  And I know Sean will be happier to hear this than anyone.