August 28, 2013 - So, today is the day - well, one of the days, I feel like there will be a lot of "the day" as we move forward with this process. What process? What is going on? Well, after many years of brooding and thinking about it - more for me than for Sean, we have decided that we are going to try and do it....our big dream and pick up and move our life to Colorado. As I type this Sean is on a plane somewhere, maybe over Iowa, and on his way to Colorado for a final interview. According to what he has been told, at this point, it is his job to lose. So, let's hope that doesn't happen - and let's hope they offer above and beyond of what we were hoping for.
And yes, while it sounds great to move - it is going to be a lot of work and we foresee quite a few problems. First of all, I don't have a job. I was hopefully for a while, Special Olympics Colorado (SOCO) was hiring - it was a stretch for me to try and get the position they were looking for, but I thought I would give it a whirl - thought it was a great sign. Didn't work out for me, actually someone else from SOILL got the job - which is great, for the future, and nice to know someone else out there! So, yes, I don't have a job, but I do have a baby to watch, so that is something. I am of course still looking, but right now, nothing set.
And then there is the house. Ahh, the good old American dream - own your own home! Don't get me wrong, it has been great having our own house right now. It has been so much more fun than renting and our money is going somewhere good. But it kind of locks you to one place for a while! Sean is great and might even have some renters lined up - perhaps even renting to buy. But those are the logistics, not the fun things to talk about and dream about.
Why am I so excited about all of this? Ever since I was younger and we took family vacations, going out west was my favorite. Maybe it was the days we spent in the car, where I got to lip sync to my sister and annoy her. Or maybe it was the tapes we made to record the memories. It certainly wasn't the car sickness I would get after laying down. But there was something that always drew me to the mountains. Typically our trips were to Yellowstone, but a few final destinations were Colorado. We did Pikes Peak, we did the Royal Gorge and we were in Vail (in which I knocked my mom's glasses off at the hot tub, something I will never hear the end of!). And each trip I have memories of the mountains...of feeling happy and free. Of course, you are kid, all is happy and free.
Then I "grew up." And my love of the mountains continued. I managed to start dating a guy that lived in Colorado - in retrospect as a ticket to the mountains. And I was about to move, job interview set up and all, until he decided maybe he wasn't ready for that. It was the worst news ever at that time, but looking back, was the best news I could have gotten from him. I decided that I was going to move anyways and made a few trips out there to try and figure out where and how to make it work. I took a new job here and stayed put for a while, finding a job and organization I am passionate about. And then SOCO was hiring. And I decided not to apply for that job. I decided I was happy where I was and wasn't at a point of moving. And thankfully I stayed put because the very next month, I met Sean. I couldn't imagine my life full of Colorado and not have Sean be a part of it. Sean and I quickly knew we were meant to be together and continued to make our life great here in Illinois. We bought our house, got married, had a dog and looked to continue adventures as best we could here. We took our honeymoon to Colorado and hiked the Four Loop Pass - I mean the Four Pass Loop in Maroon Bells - and I saw my first view of Snowmass Lake at the top of the 3rd mountain pass - and I had never seen anything so amazing and beautiful. We were back to Colorado for our anniversary and traveled via Jeep and Rampart Road to Colorado Springs and the Garden of the Gods. We also traveled Rampart Road back to Denver, which was a bit more tricky in November than we thought. We also made our way to Breckenridge 2 seasons ago to ride those mountains. It seems like every vacation I want to take takes me to Colorado.
Each time I leave, I leave with a bit of sadness. My soul and spirit are renewed by the power of the mountains and the beauty of the land. And I hate leaving - I tend to cry. So, we have tried a few other times to move, but no luck. And then we had a baby. I wonderful, crazy, loving monster baby who has so much energy at 8 months, I am worried for what the future holds - worried and excited! Sean and I miss our super adventure days, it is harder to pick up and go drive 3 hours to climb for a couple of hours and then head home. It seems a little less worth it when we are lugging our monster. And don't get me wrong, our little guy it worth it, but we often question and wonder if we are in the best place for him.
Is it right to pull my little guy away from his family, from his Dot and Papa that he has grown with? Is it fair to pull him away from his cousins and other aunts and uncles and rest of his family? Are we being silly and selfish to pick up and take him away from all of that? Should we just stay put and be content with the life we have? We are risking so much by wanting to pick up and go, but at the same time, I sit and think about all the things we are going to get by moving. But is it worth it? I'm sure I can go back and forth about this for the rest of my life, but the fact is, we will never know if it is the right thing if we don't do it.
So, here's sending positive vibes to the universe, to get us out to Colorado, to get us our mountain house, to fill my soul...
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