And then Sean started talking, about becoming a fireman with Littleton. And he passed one step and the next and the next and finally there was a job for him, on the table...but there was a catch. He'd have to take a pretty significant pay cut and he'd have to be in academy for 14 weeks...and that meant Monday- Friday, leaving before the I woke up most days until after I got home with the kids. I think in the 14 weeks he was able to get the kids 3 times maybe (one time was very crucially right before Summer Games, so glad for that one). So that meant my life was anything but normal. That meant for 14 weeks, I got the kids up, took them to day care, picked them up, started dinner and then Sean came home. I know people have it just as hard or harder, but this was new to me. I was used to taking the kids a few days a week, Sean was home some days during the week, it was great. We never knew each other (or never had) normal 9-5 jobs...and now we both did, it was odd. And tricky for me during a super busy season to not have time to stay late at work or go early. Basically, I woke up, got everyone going, worked, got everyone home and while Sean studied I worked. It was tough. But it was going to be worth it. Sean was going to get to be a fireman...once he graduated, he'd have a better schedule, we'd adjust more, I can finally focus on me then, right?
But now that I look back, those 14 weeks were about me. Sean was busy, exhausted, getting paid to get in the best shape of his life, studying when he was home, or falling asleep snuggling Liam. So, I had to step up, I had to make sure life went on as normal as possible. I didn't have time to complain or yell about things (maybe I did a few times), I just had to make life go on. And Sean did his best, more than his best...but it was a tough time. So, graduation day came, I celebrated, our schedule is adjusting and he's around much more...which as he can tell you, is sometimes too much. It's possible that on each break he is home, I ask him when he goes back to work. It was a great thing and while Sean worked hard to learn his job and continues to work hard to make himself the best he can be, I learned just how tough and strong I could be.
I was also focused on getting into great shape. The deal was that Sean and I would be in the best shape of our lives by the time we are 40. Since like I said, I'm officially older, I turned 39 just a few weeks ago, it was best to get a jump on that getting in shape thing. I was going to workout classes, first twice a week and then 3 times a week. It was out of my comfort zone, I don't do classes, and if I do, they are big classes so I just do my thing and move along. This was a small class - 5 - 6 girls each day...and it was such a great group to be a part of. It was motivating, fun and inspiring to have grown with this class over the year. I always thought I'd be thinking too much about how I am compared to everyone else in the class, but most days, I'm so exhausted that I can't even think about what I'm doing - because each person in the class is pushing just as hard. It's a great group to have support with, laugh with, complain with and become fitter with. The group has changed, has added people, but the feeling of it all remains the same. We are there to support and inspire each other...and to complain about the workouts we like the least!
And then in November, I got the crazy idea I was going to try and fit into my wedding dress. I tried it on November 1. Sean tried to zip it and didn't. I didn't figure he'd be able to...and I was ready to work for it. I decided to get serious...stop half-assing it and work hard. I cut back my drinking I was maybe having 2-3 drinks a week - max. I added extra workouts (I did the 21 day fix extreme since I had 21 days to fit into the dress). I increased protein and tracked my food - not one morsel of food went into my mouth that wasn't recorded. And I had a few cheat days, days where I needed a break from counting, but mostly the counting was fun. It was a challenge, how good can I eat today? So, I worked, I went to class 3 times a week and did the other workouts at home, double workouts on some days. My eating was spot on and I was motivated. I felt better, I could see results and it kept me going. I kept thinking about the dress, my workout class kept reminding me about the dress. And on November 21, as I was getting ready for a date with Sean, I tried on the dress...and it fit...and it felt so great, to accomplish a goal, to stick to a plan. I didn't believe I was going to do it, I figure I'd come close and still be proud of what I accomplished. But nope, I did it...I put on the dress and did a pull up on our rock holds downstairs. And it felt great. And I felt great. I was so happy with myself and my commitment, the possibilities were now endless, I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.
And while I speak mostly of the physical work and progress I made over the year, I also know that with that, came so much more. I became a better person overall, I am happier, more free and willing to do things out of my comfort zone. I am stronger inside, I know what I am capable of and while sometimes I want to take a break and be weak, I know I'm strong.
Then it's December and I find another workout challenge to do on line. You have to take a picture in tight jeans and use that as your measurement. And when I went to try on what I thought would be the tightest pair, they fit...as did every other pair in my drawer...and pants in my closet. It was such an amazing feeling. Some of those pants I haven't worn since before Liam and now they all fit. It was great, just another sign of my hard work paying off. And then the picture from last year popped up on my Timehop. And I couldn't help but put on those jeans and take a picture to see then side by side. And it was amazing, another great example of my hard work paying off. And the look on my face was completely different. I really feel a little bit like a new person and it's great.
In the end, while I felt at first the year was going to be about Sean as soon as he started his fire gig, it didn't need to be. But now I realize it also didn't need to be about me. It can just be about life and what I choose to make of that is up to me, right? Plus, there are so many more things out there bigger than me, that matter more than me, it'd be awfully selfish to take up a whole year.
So, as I look forward to 2017, there are some changes coming up with my work that I'm excited to tackle head on. I also will continue to get in the best shape of my life (4 pull-up max so far, that's the most I've ever done at one time, I think), but I won't just mean physically. I have so many ways to grow mentally and emotionally and much to still learn about life. I will meet the near year with positive thoughts and good energy, that even when tough times arise, I'll be strong and now good things will come. It's going to be a good year...for all of us, it'll just be the year of awesome!
