No words

So, I sit here in a few minutes of peace for the weekend, after a long week, after a super busy time for Sean - not sure how long it will last and there are a million other things that I should be doing, but I can't seem to tear myself away from watching the Special Olympics Opening Ceremonies coverage.  I didn't see it all last night, we went to an outside movie showing of Star Wars (which was quite fun).  So, anyways, I am catching up.  I saw some of the ceremonies, on TV in the restaurant we had dinner at - how cool is that?  At some point, Liam was watching and waving as the athletes walked in, it was so sweet.  Anyways, I start to talk about how cool it is, I start to think about how amazing it all is, it makes my eyes well up with joy.  I can't seem to find words to express how it makes me feel to see this amazing coverage.  It has happened, the world has embraced Special Olympics and the athletes are given their chance to shine.  I watch the parade in, I see the athletes and hear the stories and I'm amazed.  The coverage is unreal - they are really taking the time to highlight the athletes and somehow get everyone to feel the things I feel everyday with my job.

I am still struggling to find words to put in this blog - to express how great this is.  I hope that this will be the start of always covering the games, no matter where it is.  I want this to be on TV all the time, so Liam and Cora can watch and now that it should just be a part of life.  I mean, let's be honest, they don't have much of a choice, they were both at State Games when they were 6 weeks old...but for them to see it on the bigger stage, the biggest stage possible.  I sit here and wonder when will be my time to be a part of world games.  I was lucky enough to be a part of USA Games and I'm sure I'll get to do that again, but the World - that's a dream of mine for sure.  So, I watch, with wide eyes as we wait for Team USA to come in, to watch, to see if I can find people I know, people who will tell me how awesome it was and people who inspire me.  And I figure out how to get there.  And I figure out how else to leave my stamp on this amazing organization.

It's hard for me to find words because Special Olympics to should always be on this stage.  Let's be honest, professional sports are full of crap, just pure crap.  While there are the good people, there are also so many people in professional sports that are so full of themselves, so caught up in money and greed that they have no clue what the meaning of Sports even is.  These athletes, the ones marching in right now, these are the athletes that can teach those jerks about sports - about competing, about the love of the game.  And I am so happy to hear the stories about the athletes that are there, that are helping out teams to get to the games, walking with the athletes and realizing how important Special Olympics is.  Sorry, didn't mean to turn negative, like I said, it's been a tough weekend and week.  Watching this has reminded me why I do what I do, why Special Olympics has been such a part of my life for 15 years and will always remain a part of my life.

I'm not sure how many more times I will cry while watching it, but this morning, when Liam asked, I totally got choked up - because I realized what I got to tell him.  I'm not sitting in front of my computer streaming the ceremonies, I'm watching it broad casted on ESPN.

See, I still can't find words, this blog is all over the place.  But at the end of the day, the stories I hear are amazing.  The athletes are stars and finally the rest of the world can see what I have known for about 15 years.  A baby is crying so I best go for now...but I'm sure I'll have plenty more to say about all of this.  Go USA, but more importantly, go Special Olympics athletes, you all are amazing!

Back to work

Yes, it was time last Monday for me to go back to the office.  No, I haven't been off of work since Cora was born, but I was working from home, which meant no commute!  It also meant I wasn't really able to have a schedule.  While I was happy to work from home as long as I did, I kind of wish I had a few more weeks, it was good for me to be back in the office.  It is nice to be around other adults and it is also nice for me to be able to leave work at work - well, at least as much as I can.  It was hard, though, hard to leave on Monday morning, when I left Sean with the kids all day.  Of course I cried when I left and cried for a bit in the car.  She has been attached to me in some way for the past 10 weeks and now I just need to forget about that, or rid myself of her.  No way, too hard.  But we made it, we made it through the first week.  

It was funny on Friday, I was so excited for it to be Friday, it meant I got 2 whole days with the kiddos and maybe some time with Sean.  I was so excited to be able to have nothing planned and just hang out with them.  I was thrilled to be home on Friday, so thrilled.  We didn't have any big plans, but I knew we'd find plenty to do.  It was a nice weekend, nothing too crazy, nothing out of the ordinary for us, a nice hike at the dog park, some nice time at home to clean and get a few things done, a few projects to start and plenty of time to cuddle.

I think Cora had a little cold from her first week at daycare, which of course, also made me feel terrible for leaving her at day care.  But what can I do?  We have talked long and hard and it's not really possible for me not to work.   Plus, I like working, I like my co-workers and I love what I do.  I couldn't imagine not doing it.  So, we make it work.  Sean gets days to be home with the kids that are during the week, which makes me so jealous.  I get the weekends to enjoy the kids as much as I can.  Sean worked quite a bit this weekend, which left me with the kids.  It was a good test of patience and for the most part, I passed!

And I sit her on Sunday night and I worry about the next week - again, will she be a good baby again?  Will Liam be a good big brother?  Will I pump enough milk for her?  That's one thing for sure I don't miss, my pump - what a love/hate relationship we have!

Someone did tell me that is gets easier to leave the kids - never easy, but easier.  I didn't cry today when I left, could be because I wanted to leave so early so I can come home nice and early, or could be because everyone was still sleeping at 6:30 AM and I didn't want to wake them, or maybe because I know she is in great hands at daycare.  Whatever the case may be, I'm sure there will be more days where I cry again, where I am sad to leave the kids.  There will be plenty days were I wish it'd work out and I could be home with the kids instead of sending them to day care, but one thing work has reminded me is how much to appreciate the time I have with the kids and with Sean - to not waste that time being worried the dishes are piling up, or the laundry needs to be done, but rather enjoying a few last snuggles with Cora or playing with Liam as he learns and get more creative.  So, that's the plan - take care of what I have to take care of and get home to enjoy the time I have with my family - even the times when no one listens to me! :)

Fourth of July

All right, so I really need to catch up on all my blogs, looking at just a photo blog for this one - to get it done and maybe I'll go back and update, but here's the quick version of what we did.

We were planning on camping, but the weather didn't look so great.  We opted to bail as camping in the rain with kids sounded less than awesome.  We had plenty to keep us busy.

Our first day took us to Manitou Springs to do the Incline - why - well, because we are quite crazy and wanted to do something big - that was it!  It was a mile up, about 2000 vertical feet and super uneven steps.  I was extra worried not being able to see my feet, but we made it!  It was going to be impossible to come down these steps, so the only way out was up, which lead us to a trail down.  I think the whole hike took us about 5 hours - something we weren't prepared for.  So, while it was a total butt kicking work out, it was a great lesson - always bring more water and snacks than you think  you would need - and maybe some ear plugs for Liam - that kid loves to talk - so kuddos to Sean for carrying his extra weight and listening to him, at certain point, I was either far enough ahead taking a break or far enough behind not to hear.  Anyways, we did it, we didn't do it well, it wasn't pretty at all, but we did it.  That's the key, right?  I think it'll be a great goal for us to do each year at least one, a great training for bigger hikes.  We will have to see how it'll work as Liam gets bigger - how much we can carry him, how much he will want to walk.  It'll be a new adventure for us to keep him busy, to keep him moving at a pace that's not like a snail.  Ah, more adventures!

Friday morning we got up early and headed to downtown Evergreen for donuts and a nice walk around the lake.  We then decided to go to a beach in Lakewood, not far from us.  It was going to be crowded and I tend to stay away from places on busy days, but we did it anyways.  Liam had so much, splashing, jumping, splashing - this kid loves was so much we proceeded to get out of the sun (total fair to NOT have sunscreen) and go swimming inside.  Cora also enjoys swimming, which is great, more activities for everyone makes all sleep better!

Old firetruck that later hosed us down!

Saturday was the 4th and we started our day at the pancake breakfast at the Fire station in our town.  The kids were dressed in their matching outfits from Dot.  So fun - they also did a car extracation which Liam was memorized by.  We left there and ran to Wal-Mart before our roads closed to get a squirt guy, I guess our parade is actually just a water fight and that is an understatement.  We were at our parade, there were some American Legion folks on a float who shot off their guns.  There were also a few other floats and then it happened - the bus saying it was time for the fight to begin.  There were cars, fire trucks, pick up trucks with huge water containers on the back, all aiming for everyone and anyone!  Cora and I just barely escaped being hosed down by the fire truck, while other were loving it!  Liam didn't like how loud it was, but loved everything else.  Once that was done, we had a few friends over to grill up a few quick burgers and then we decided to load up and head to Fairplay, a small mountain town that was having a parade, music and fireworks.  It was a great time, I'll just let the pictures do the talking!

Too loud, but so fun!

Watch out, here I come!

So much water!

Second parade of the day, life is good!

Passed out as soon as we got in the car.

Busy 1st 4th of July weekend.

Our first family camping trip

We finally did it, we finally made it out to camp!  It took - well, let's just say way too long to get Liam out camping, we decided not to waste any time with Cora.  I was still working from home and was planning on getting my hours in later in the week and Sean was off, so we went for it.  It was a good practice run for the trip on the 4th of July (that didn't happen, but that's another blog).  I was hesitant to go, not sure why, I just wasn't feeling like camping.  I didn't feel like peeing outside or sleeping not very comfortable and well, I was being a little crabby about it.  We spent some time talking about it in the morning, I would have rather stayed home to clean up our house rather than take more crap out, make more messes and never clean up the junk that's all over the place, which, by the way seems to just keep being all over the place, but maybe we will get it to at some point.

Anyways, once we decided we were going, we worked to get things packed up.  Sean took care of the camping things, I worked on clothes and food.  Finally, finally, finally, we were ready to go...and we headed out in the Rover for our first camping trip.  The packing actually went much better than I thought it was going to go and we were on our way.  We were headed to Webster Pass (and Liam was guiding us), which is an off-road ride we took once before, however, we planned to come at it from the Silverthorne side just in case the other face had too much snow.  Plus, this was closer to where we wanted to set up camp.  We drove hoping that Liam would fall asleep - but nope, not a chance - well, I take that back, he fell asleep as soon as we got to the off-road part.  Anyways, we drove through Silverthorne and stopped at a playground in Keystone so I could feed Cora and Liam could play.  Then we loaded back up and headed on our way.  It was only about 30 more minutes to where we both thought we would stop.  We went through the small town of Montezuma and headed down the trail.  We both recalled the trail not being too bouncy at this point, however, all the rain must have washed some of the road out as it was much bumpier than I recall.  I was a little worried about Cora, but she was pretty passed out and her head wasn't bobbing much at all.  We did tuck a blanket around just to be safe.    

We arrived at our planned campsite, or rather the area we thought would be best for camping.  We parked and got out to try and find something flat-ish.  The kids were sleeping, but Burton snuck out of the car and ran over to a jeep that was stopped by the creek.  He was being such a bad dog, just being free and happy - but NOT listening at all.  Finally, once I got him back, we went back to planning where to spend the night.  I think we finally decided that the best spot was going to be where the people were that were already there.  We hung out at our car, watched them back up and then stole there spot.  It was great, right near the water and under a few trees and mostly flat.  The hope was that the children would stay asleep until we got the tent up and yeah - that SO didn't happen.  Both kids were up and Liam was ready to go, as usual.  We let him spend a little time exploring while I fed Cora.  He liked the creek, loves throwing rocks into water and watching Burton splash around.  I was happy to sit by and watch him explore and learn - gosh, everything he does is so learning, it's crazy...and so awesome to watch.  It's especially good when I remember that him not listening, he's just learned - at least it makes me feel better to tell myself that.

So, the boys played in the water, explored and had fun.  It was time to get the tent set up.  Cora was happy just chilling in a camp chair - at least until Liam would go and bug her.  So, it was a toss up - do we let Liam help us with the tent, which would slow us down dramatically, or do we let him bug Cora.  We opted to have him help us - which was mostly fine.  He helped me get the poles out and watched and Sean and I remembered how to put the tent up.  It went mostly well for our first time in a few years.  Liam thought it was very funny to hang out and run around inside the tent with us peaking in on him through the door and window.

We were pretty much set up and decided we should go explore a bit.  We went on a small hike as it was getting a little late and we needed to get dinner and the fire started.  Burton chased his tennis ball as we walked and Liam had fun looking at everything.  Liam was also excited to help start the fire.  So, after he had played in the water a bit more, he joined Sean for his first lesson of fire.  Or course, it makes me nervous to have fire, as I said, he doesn't always listen the best.  He can at times, just do what he wants in order to learn, explore, or just do what he wants.  So, the fire made me nervous.  Sean went over with him how dangerous the fire was, how he had to stay this far back, etc.  And of course, we watched him with the fire, again, just made me nervous - just one of the many things I am sure I will worry about for quite some time.  We started our fire and got dinner going.  We hung out by the fire for a bit and then Liam seemed to be getting tired, so we decided it was time for him to head to the tent.  Of course, this gave him new energy and he bounced on the air mattress and ran around the tent.  After a few books and a few cuddles from Sean, he finally passed out while Cora and I enjoyed some dinner by the fire.  Sean was great and surprised me with wine - does it get any better?  Nature, a fire, my wonderful family and a glass of wine - life was good and I was totally wrong to think it'd be a bad idea to camp.  Sean and I stayed up for a bit, talking, having some wine and mostly waiting for it be dark - I wanted to see a million stars.  Well, turns out, it gets cold at night, in the mountains.  And while I did a great job of planning for that for the kids, I failed to do such a great job planning for me, nor did Sean.  And it was quite windy, so the fire wasn't doing that great of a job keeping us warm.  It was time to put the fire out and head to our tent, at least then we could all snuggle in our family sleeping bag and get warm, hopefully.

Cora was cozy in one of my favorite pair of Liam's pjs and a few blankets.  She was basically my heater for the night as I was freezing.  I thought I'd be good in a t-shirt and pants - no problem, I'd be warm snuggling with her, with Liam in the sleeping bag, it'd be all good, right?   Totally wrong - I froze.  I had things to put on, but at that point, I was way too cold to get up to put anything on.  I snuggled as best I could with everyone, but it was still quite chilly, especially when I had to get up and nurse Cora.  Oh well, what can you do, who really expects to sleep while camping anyways?   We slept that night as a family, our first trip, all of us in our big tent, cozy in our family sleeping bag and all seemed right in the world.  I woke up, from the light state of sleep I was and it was still chilly.  But there is something I love about a chilly camp morning, maybe it is the new day, maybe it is the fresh air, who knows, but I know I always love it.  My view was incredible out the window.

Once everyone else got up, we decided we would work to get going quick so Sean could make it back to work in time for a meeting.  Liam had other ideas, he wanted to cry.  He was very sad, for some reason and nothing seemed to make it any better.  So, he cried and cried and we listened to him whine about "nothing" as he likes to do when he isn't sure what is wrong.  We finally got everything packed up and headed out.  Liam was happy to be finally awake during the off-roading part and we were all happy that survived and mostly enjoyed the trip.  We can check the first trip off the list - as we hope for many more.  I had written at some point early on that I was looking to camp 6 months out of the year.  I'm not sure that'll be doable, but I already know we have a trip planned for July, so maybe we can do it!  Happy camping!  

Evergreen Rodeo weekend

It was Father's Day weekend and Sean was on call.  It's always tricky to figure out what to do when that is the case.  Do we go and do something we want to do all together, do we take seperate cars, or do we just stay home and hang out?  This time it seemed like we would be able to take one car and he'd not have to go to work.  We started out on Friday night to the family night of the rodeo.  They have barrel races, rides for kids, drill team on horses and all kinds of other fun things.  Our first stop was to get my little guy a cowboy hat.  I spotted one I liked as well and while I tried mine on, Liam actually left the one on that Sean put on his head.  He actually left it on which is a first.  So, we decided he might actually like it and got it for him.  I found one as well.  We proceded to walk past a few more booths, the kids rides and the food to get to the arena.  Here we watched some horses for as long as Liam could sit still - which was not very long.  We then left to get some food.  Liam had his first taste of a funnel cake, which he kept referring to as a donut.  It was great, he mostly just picked off the powdered sugar.  Meanwhile, Cora just hung out in her little carrier and just went along for the ride, thank goodness she is good at that!  Liam also insisted on a train ride - I was so proud and a little sad to watch him climb in all by himself and go on his merry way.  I do recall in September going on a ride like that with him, was REALLY glad he wanted to go on his own.

It's so funny, kids - while there is no way I wanted to squeeze myself in that little car again, a huge part of me is sad - sad becuase he doens't need me there for him in this case.  I know this kid will always need him mommy, but the older he gets, the less that seems to be.  It's tough - to remember that - to remember to enjoy his crazy energy instead of get annoyed at it.  It's hard to realize that each day he wakes up a different kid than he went to bed as.

He has new thoughts, new ways to play, new things to say.  I look at him and feel I can see him getting smarter, more creative and less scared to try new things.  Thankfully, he still has a little bit of fear, but not much.  He wants to explore and run off and doesn't really get what might happened - all of that is learning, but still, alarming to me.  That's why we are going to keep doing these things, keep on taking the kids places they might not remember.

The next day was the parade.  It was in downtown to Evergreen so we met a friend, got some donuts and waited...always the hardest part.  The parade was great, but again, it was even more fun to watch Liam, to watch him learn to get candy from the street, to see him in awe of the giant monster truck, to have him excited to see the big dogs, the horses and everything else in between.  He makes me so happy and so proud.  He really is turning into this amazing kid, instead of a baby or toddler.  Time does fly - seems like just yesterday I was wearing him around!

Quick catch up

My goodness, life has been busy, very busy.  I don't even know where to start with all we have done since our little Cora was born.  It has been just about 10 weeks and we have been all over and done way too many things, but all in a good way!

Here are just a few quick catch ups on what we have been up to!

Cora and I hiking when she was just 3 days old - the start to an adventure filled life for her!  

My parents came to visit soon after Cora was born.  This is the same shirt my dad wore when he met each and every grandbaby!

 This kid loves to lay with his little sister!

 Perhaps all my yoga helped her find her zen moment.

 Another hike/adventure to Lair O' the Bear, we hiked up and down by the water, Liam needed a snack as well!

 Daddy's Lemon's race that we went to.

We had a few other big outing and events that will there own blogs.  We experienced some of the Evergreen Rodeo, went camping and celebrated the 4th of July!  I'll get to those!