I also knew I was going to cry, a lot...and have to explain that to Liam. Liam knows I cry, he knows I cry when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Most times I tell him I am crying because he has made my heart so happy, and he is so proud of those times. So, off we go, we went down 285 to University. I planned to turn her to find our spot. Police officers were already staged at this intersection and that made me cry already - it was going to be a long hour or so. We got to where we planned to watch, there were a few police officers at the intersection where we were to block off traffic. We were a little early so we did some running around on the path and playing. I found a blanket in our car and found a nice spot in the shade to watch.
As we sat down, I talked to Liam, told him a fireman had died. I told him this was a sad time and we needed to be a little serious. We ran around for a bit more and got updates from Sean as they were staging, getting ready to leave, etc. He had questions, but I feel like they were all really good questions for a 4 year old. Why did it happen? How do people die? His questions were all very real and down to earth, he didn't seem to be scared about anything, which I was a little worried about. We talked for a while and he seemed to understand a bit.
He was getting antsy and I saw the sirens from the police motorcycles headed our way. There were maybe 20 of them or so and I took a picture. It was the last time I looked at my phone until we left. I just couldn't think to take pictures. The first truck that went by was an older one with firefighters on top. This was followed by family in regular cars. Liam asked where the fire trucks were and I explained to him who those people were. He sat down in my lap and I hugged him, tears streaming down my face, hoping and praying that we never have to be in a procession like this. And this is where he stayed, on my lap, being hugged by me and catching my tears. Cora stood next to me and as more fire trucks came by, more and more firefighters waved to us. Cora waved to every single one of them. Sean's truck was soon at the beginning, so I prepared the kids, telling them daddy's truck was coming.
And then it happened, they were in front of us, each of them, hanging out the window waving to us, Sean leaning out to blow us a kiss and tell us that he loves us. I have such an amazingly clear image of it in my head. I would pay just about anything to have a picture of it, to frame, to hang on the wall, to show the kids, but I don't have one. I couldn't pick up my phone, I couldn't miss the amazing moment to take a picture. So it's in my head, the moment meant so much to me. This is our new family, every single one of the people in the procession, every person watching, crying along with me, they are a part of our family.
I wish I could put all the details into words right now, the colors I saw, the emotion from the guys on the truck, the love that Sean shared with us, but I really just can't. I can't wrap up into words everything that happened in that moment. It's something that will never happen again, and it's a single moment that changed so much. It made me realize so many things that I am still trying to form into words. This wasn't just a job change for Sean this was a life change for all of us. We have extended our family in ways I never thought possible. We have met people we might never have met had he not taken this "job."
And I see days like Friday and I am reminded what he does is so much more than a job. Sure, I give him grief sometimes about the schedule, about all of his days off, about how some nights he sleeps at more at the fire station than I do at home and probably about a million other things. But at the end of the day, we have an entirely new set of people that care about us and would do just about anything for us. I believe Sean said it best a few months ago when he said that any one of the people he works with would risk their life and do just about anything for any of us, not just while on duty. I feel like the only word I can think of to describe it all would be brotherhood (and sisterhood, of course). While I have feel it more and more when we spend time with those groups, I never felt it as much as I did that day, when that truck drove by.
The truck drove away, I gave Liam a huge kiss and pulled Cora in close for a hug and kiss...and I sobbed a bit. More and more trucks, ambulances and police cars came by, Liam spent the rest of the time pointing to each one as I told him where they were from, South Metro, West Metro, Colorado Springs, Breckenridge, the list and line of vehicles went on and on. Cora waved, Liam waved and pointed and I just kept thinking about the image of Sean, his truck and his guys...and crying. I wanted so badly to go and see him, get a hug and head on our way, but the procession ended and we had more things to get back to. So, once things ended, we packed up our blanket, walked back to the car and went home. Liam had a few more questions about things, I had a few more tears to shed and life went on as normal. But for me, something changed, normal might have changed as I realized so many things about the bigger picture.
We went to see the guys at the station the next day, to visit, to see them raise the ladder and hang out and mostly because I really needed a hug from Sean. We walked in and everyone welcomed us as they usually do, but for some reason, I never felt more comfortable being there with the kids than I did that day. 
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