8 AM

Tomorrow, at 8 AM, the movers are coming.  They are coming to take as much stuff as possible which means we need to be pretty much packed up.  Tonight will be the last night we will spend in our house before we move.  Tonight will be the last time we will have people over to our house, the last time we will have a beer in our place, our home.

It's so hard to part with "home."  I love our house, I will miss our house.  I love our home even more.  We both worked so hard to make the house become the home that we both treasure and care about so much.  It was sad this morning when I realized it would be our last shower in the bathroom that we created, the one that caused some arguments and tears.  It was the last time we would steal Liam into the shower to get some extra steam for his cough.  We put a lot of work into our house, the bathroom, the kitchen, painting, decorating and it was finally feeling like ours.  And that's all right, I can say good-bye to it.  I can move on and look forward to doing this all to a new place.  But we don't get to do that for a while - we will be renting.  I don't miss renting, I don't miss worrying about holes in the walls or things like that.  I wish we were buying a place, but soon enough.  We will find something to make our own.

In the meantime, next Monday we will show up at a house and I will spend a week making it as home as possible for Sean to be there, for a month, without us.  It made me so sad yesterday, to think about being away from him.  I'll admit that I broke down, cried in his arms at the thought of not being with him.  And then, good old Sean, put things into perspective for me.  He reminded me about all the time we get to spend together in the next few weeks, then he explained that it was all math - in the end, it would only be a little longer than I usually am without him, factoring in the time we will spend together.  And sure, logic helps, but it doesn't make it any easier.

So, tonight we will laugh and I'll probably cry, we might light our last fire in our place, we will fall asleep, at some point, hopefully for the last time in our home.  And I'll wake up, knowing that my home goes with me, as long as my boys go as well!