Saturday started out, interesting to say the least. I spent the night in bed with Cora since she was up and fussy and I wanted to make sure Sean got a good nights rest the night before he had to go to work. I woke up at about 5:30 hearing Burton making puke noises...I ran out of bed to get him outside or whatever, but as soon as I got up, he was fine and went under our bed, no puke, crisis adverted, however, Cora was crying since I was more than 5 inches away from her. So, I took her into out bed and snuggled and nursed her back to sleep. I finally dozed off after Sean went to work and then, I hear it again, Burton, under our bed, hacking up something. I shot up and tried to get him out from under the bed, but nope, too late, he puked up some lovely grass under our bed - and Cora cried, since I was more than 5 inches away from her again. I cleaned up the puke, with a screaming baby in bed and then crawled back into bed and I think I was able to doze off for a while, probably the longest I slept all night. It was about 7:30 before Liam came in and we just hung out in bed for a while, I was tired, but the day seemed to be going all right, just having a lazy day.
Then, I have no idea what happened, but Liam stopped listening, Cora kept crying and I was stuck, no way out, no where to go, just had to deal with the kids all day. I decided, even though Liam was not listening to anything I said, it should be time to get out, we'd go to the lake to walk around, head to the nature center and hopefully see some elk. We finally got out of the house and went on our way. We mostly had a good time, Liam and Cora loved playing in the nature center, I watched them and how different they play each time we go there - how much more independent my little guy is getting and how many more things Cora is interested in. Sounds like a fix, we are all happy, right? Wrong! The non-listening continued on and on, we walked for a while, I carried Cora after she sat down in the middle of the path and then we did all right, I felt better, the kids weren't terrible, so I pushed my luck - we went grocery shopping. Lesson learned - unless you are having an amazing day with angel children, don't go shopping on a Saturday afternoon with them. We shopped, things went all right, and then it happened, things spiraled down, down, down and never returned. I don't even recall how it all started, maybe with Liam running over to the horse for a horse ride, or Cora freaking out because I took away her apple to pay for it, but things just went from bad to worse.
We finally got in the car and went home. Cora took a nap, Liam helped carry groceries in and I gave up, a movie and sandwiches on the couch was the temporary fix so I could get my head on straight and it mostly worked. We had a few more issues, just yelling. I've been working so hard not to yell and Liam, even in his terrible fits, but Saturday, it all came out. I'm not sure what I was yelling about, but man, everytime it happened, I felt like the worst mother in the world. I hate those days, days where nothing really snaps you out of it, maybe the kids recover, but you still feel like crap. All I wanted to do was put the kids and myself to bed at 7:00 and be done and try again the next day. But Sean's sister, Johanna, was coming in and I had to get her from the airport. So, thankfully, we made it to 7;30 and loaded up to hit the road. Cora was asleep as soon as I put her in her carseat and Liam was out by the time we got to the airport...it was peace and quiet - I hadn't heard that since, well, since before Burton puked that day. And it was great. I found Johanna pretty quick and we headed home. I was thankful I had bedtime help and I was also very excited to give Cora some snuggles as I felt she needed mommy all day and while I was with her, my brain was too busy to enjoy. We got home and Cora went right now and Liam read some stories, then went right to bed like such a good kid. Whatever had taken over our house and us earlier that day was gone, thank goodness.
On Sunday, I was ready for an adventure. We got up early and headed to Kenosha Pass to see some fall colors - and needless to say it was amazing and really crowded, but mostly amazing. And I was reminded of things so much bigger than a kid not listening, I realized sometimes I ask to much from them, I realized sometimes they are allowed to not listen and be kids. They were both different kids on Sunday. Liam hiked for a while and then really wanted me to carry him, me, the person that was yelling at him all day yesterday. And we were good, he would just keep repeating me and saying, wow, it keeps getting prettier and prettier, he'd look at leaves and find rocks. He was being a kid and I loved every minute of it. It helped that he was listening as well. So, lesson learned, when all else fails, just get outside and play, as much as possible, with as few rules as possible. And if that doesn't work, but the kid in a carrier, he loves it, I still love it and we reconnect and snap out of whatever funk we are in. The weekend ended with us driving to say hi to Sean for a few minutes, then coming home and playing in the dirt, something else my kids love. We wound down with a movie and then a lovely bath night. Cora and I got extra snuggles - Liam got extra books with Johanna and suckered me into me - who can say no when your almost 4 year old puts on his pout face for snuggles? I ended up going to bed feeling renewed and refreshed and now, finally able to forgive myself for not being perfect.
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