Recap

It seems as though my blogs have turned into some sort of recap of some time period.  And I enjoy that, it has been fun going back and reading and recalling what we did, the things I was thinking and feeling.  So, again, here I sit to think about the past weekend.  It started a little early with a longer lunch on Friday to the mountain bike park.  Sean met Sam and I there, which was good, they got to go off and have fun while I was able to sink into my pace and what I wanted to do.  It was different then when I went alone, though.  I put a little more pressure on myself, which of course, freaked me out a bit more, but it was very fun and felt good to be back on the bike.  I did take a tumble, didn't get nearly as bloody as last time, but had tons of fun again.  It might have to be a weekly thing.

Sean was on call again this weekend, so our plans were to stay close - mostly.  Friday night I thought would be a nice date night, or rather a family night out.  So, we had a little adventure - finding a new place to eat and enjoying driving around.  It was getting late and we were running out of luck and places to eat so we ended up at one of our usual places, which was fine.  Service was slow, but my beer was good, so it all evened out.

On Saturday, I had made plans to go to the dog beach with Bethany, still unsure of Sean and his work.  It ended up being farther away than we thought, but in the end, it was totally worth it.  We packed up like we have done for boat day (which of course, made me sad that we didn't have a boat to be on), and headed on our way.  It was a great little place, beach, sand, water.  The dogs loved it, Burton barked way too much.  Liam loved it and floated in his new life jacket.  He played in the sand and shivered to swim some more.  He had such a great time.  We were there for quite a few hours, then decided to go back to our place to grill and celebrate Erik's birthday.  It was nice, to sit outside, to grill, to enjoy great company and a lovely dinner.  We hung out, and headed to bed nice and early, we had a very early morning with Sean's race the next day.

Sunday morning came way too fast.  Liam slept all night in his bed, so I had to go and wake him up.  We needed to leave the house at 6 or so to get me registered for the race.  It was a 5K put on by Donor Alliance.  It was such a great event.  Many people were walking in honor of people that donated.  Many of the partners DA had came out to support it, it was close to 5,000 people supporting organ donation.  Sean decided he was going to run with us instead of trying to win.  We were stuck in the back behind quite a few walkers so we had to cut around them on the grass.  This was not the best way to start the race, but what can you do?  I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to break any records since I hadn't run in weeks, perhaps even months at this point.  As we were going, I could tell Sean wanted to go faster, I encouraged him and Liam to go ahead, which he did.  It was a little selfish of me to do that, but I think I needed some time alone on my run.

I needed to clear my head, and get myself in the right state of mind.  I wasn't sure I could do that with Sean hanging with me.  I love running and doing things with him, but sometimes I get so upset at myself that I'm not as good as him, that it just hinders me.  And today, today I needed some time to refocus me, to get myself back on track, to get my head and body on the same page.  I remember one Biggest Loser episode, Bob told something that your body won't do anything your mind doesn't think it can do.  I don't think that is exactly what the quote was, but that's what I took from him.  My body had a great workout week last week, but I think i need to remember I need to focus on my mind as well.  I need to remember that my mind controls so much more than I think it does.  So I ran, I ran and ran and felt like I was running really fast, alas, I wasn't, but I felt pretty good.  And that was exciting.  I also set myself some goals, I know what I want the end product to be, I just need to get the middle process down.  I'm getting there, getting close, the physical part needed to start for me, now the rest will fall into place.  I want to feel confident when I get dressed in the morning, I don't want to have to change 3 times because I don't like how I look.  And I  know it's all in my head...so now, I am going to tackle both, working out physically and mentally.  Challenge is on - challenge I started with myself and need to finish.