Choose your own adventure

It was another weekend passed and another weekend full of fun, adventure and good times.  I'd be great if that's all that the weekend encompassed.  However, I have been having a few rough days, struggling with my limitations, forgetting all the great things I am doing while pregnant, feeling less like myself and more like I'm falling out of the loop of fun things.  I've been feeling like plans are made without me, like I'm being left behind in all the adventures that are ahead of us, or what was supposed to be ahead of us.  We moved here for adventures, to be outside, for the mountains and I feel like the last few months, we have not taken advantage of that.  We have been dealing with the house and going to the same parks, and I have been wanting new and new and new adventure for quite some time.  So, when I found out Sean was taking a new adventure, I thought it was great, good for him, but felt left behind and forgotten about.  I mean, when do I get to take an adventure - that's a new one, that's something we haven't done before, that challenges me and takes me to the mountains.  Perhaps I need to find one on my own, and I'd be happy to, but mostly I'll have Liam and this other baby to take care of.  So, what am I to do?  Just wait around for an adventure to come and get me or make a plan to have one.  It's been a hard balance and I can't ever be sure I'll find the answers to it, but this weekend sure did help.

Sean and I went back to the place we went to the day before - of course, we didn't take our snowboards, just our snowshoes, Liam in a back pack, our hiking poles and we headed on our way - and we got out of the house impressively quick, it's nice to have some sort organization, makes going on the trips that much more fun.  So, we went, after debating and me being upset about this or that, or everything...and it was amazing.  We went to Berthoud Pass, Sean took most of the pictures, but I got a few to start the day - this was what I think might be our first family selfie - Burton had to stay home, or rather, was too tired to get off the couch to greet me last night from his adventure with Sean.  So, it's not a full family selfie, but you get the picture!

Liam wasn't looking so he gets his own - with his super cool shades that he put on by himself.  Oh and yes, those are the most awesome long underwear ever - some cuddle duds for him, a matching set with the cutest little forest animals on them...picked some up for his sister so one day, they will be matching!  And the first picture, he needed to take his socks off, and yes, we were still in the driveway.  

So, off we went, to do some back country snowshoeing, so I can see what it would be like to ever back country snowboard, so we can get some fresh mountain air and beautiful sunshine, so we can spend some time together, as a family, lost(ish) in the mountains as we always dreamed about.  We drove about an hour or so to get to the area we were going to walk in.  It was a bit crowded, most people seemed to be wrapping up their day of skiing or riding, but we had plenty of time to hike...so off we went.  I'm sure I can spend much more time of this hike, like that we joked to set up base camp after about 10 minutes of hiking, or how I fell into some deep snow, up to my knees and hate to fight my way out.  But, I think more was learned and we talked, and experienced the nature as we hadn't in a long time.  The views were amazing, the air was clear, the hills were steep, and through it all, we discovered a few things.  

We need to have a plan - some plans or things we want to do this year, set them and accomplish them.  I want to sleep under the stars for 12 months (stole that from another outdoor blog), but in all reality, that might be hard with a new baby, so we will shoot for 6 months, hoping that the first will be in a couple of weeks.  We want to climb 14ers, but with 2 kids and no llama to be our Sherpa, that may not happen this year, that doesn't mean we can't clime 12ers, or even lower peaks to see how the kids handle long hikes, etc.  We want to do so many things, I think we forget that the world is ours, it's open and it's ours.  The world we want is in our backyard, it's 5 minutes away, it's 4 hours away.  Regardless, we can pick what we want to do, and I have a say in it, pregnant or not, newborn or not, we are going to continue to experience the life we moved here for and now that we are more settled, we will be able to do that more and more.  

So, it's time to choose, I can continue to feel left out of adventures, or I can turn ahead to the next page an I can go climbing today over lunch to get ready for next summer's climbs.  And my choice, will be to turn the page, move ahead and live the life I want and that we want, remembering who I am deep down inside and letting that person out, whether I am pregnant, nursing a newborn or lugging around a toddler and a little kid in a few years, I can still be me and we can still choose the next page for the best adventure yet.