...me being a complete and total badass, but not in a bad way, in the best possible way. It's been a great year since we moved here, I learned and grew a great deal, but there is always room for better, in my mind. In my mind, if I am content on where I am in life, that is great, but it also means there is room for more in my life. My life seems to be fuller and more complete when I have a million things going on that I can't keep track of. My life seems to be happier when we are busy and on the go. So, that's why I am going to become a complete and total badass.
I read this book recently about how to stop living the same life and rise above and be a badass, it's great, it's about believing in yourself, not doubting yourself or who you are and just overall kicking some butt. It's about how to change your same old stories that plague you. The book has done wonders for me, it was very sad to be done with it. I have already gone back and read parts that helped me get through some tough times. And I plan to do it again, make it a workbook for me to keep living an amazing life, a book that someday I can hand to my daughter when she needs it and talk to her about it and work with her on how to get it.
But it isn't that easy, it's not just like you read a book and become a badass, there is some work involved. And it was working, I was doing great, then fell off the badass wagon and became a little less than badass. I was still doing well, just not as badass as I felt when I was in the depths of the book. And when I was in the book, I liked being a badass, I liked not making excuses to not get things done, I liked the calm approach I had with Liam, I liked the energy that surrounded me and my life. And I'm ready to have it back. Not just while I'm reading the book, but at all times. I want to feel the sense of peace that has come back to me since I started working out and eating right. I want to feel the power and strength of my body as I get back into my running and walking work outs. I want to be the strong and powerful person I am at work, at home and everywhere in between.
It's hard to get out of a routine, we were out of a routine, being back in Illinois, not working, not going to day care, but now is the time to get back to it, to make habits out of it, to make being a badass a habit and part of who I am, not just a part in a book that I am interested in. It's time for me to shine. Yes, I'm having a baby, but that shouldn't stop me from keeping myself fit and sane with my workouts and things I love to do. Ooh, it feels so good to be on the track I'm on right now, eating well, eating real, working out, staying fit, being active. It's a place my life is the best at and the place I belong. So now I work to find my balance. My balance between not being too hard on myself and being a badass. The balance that life needs so much of, and that I think sometimes I use as an excuse. The balance that can derail me with excuses - so, then, the question is - how - how do I balance all I want to do and be with what is reality?
And if I learned one thing in my book it was about stories, about how your same old stories of falling off the wagon don't have to be your stories of the past - my excuses of balance don't even need to exist to be honest. My new story is that I will maintain my life as is and continue to work each day to be more and more badass, through reading, writing, yoga, running, playing with Liam and anything else that makes me feel the way I want to feel at all times. My new story will become my habits and will become my life - no more excuses of the holidays, pregnancy, this or that or anything else, just me becoming the best badass that I want to be. I can do it, I will do it, the time is now, today, to continue the ball rolling, the ball that will never stop!
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