I started the day making some butternut squash soup with a new recipe. It was all right, ended up being much for full of other veggies and losing the butternut taste. I also made some dried chickpeas in the soup. Once I had that rolling, Sean decided he wanted some rice for a snack, easy enough. Once that was done, it was time to make some peanut butter. And next, on to the hummus, however, out tahini was bad, so I had to make that as well - roasted red pepper hummus with homemade tahini - so good, best I have ever made. Then I was onto the cinnamon raisin bread, however, the only apple sauce we had was full of high fructose corn syrup. Seemed silly to make a bread that's good for you with that in it. So, Sean made me some apple sauce - even better than the jar stuff. It's strange, I have made the bread 3 times and it has been different each time, always good, but still different.
I also decided I wanted to make some graham crackers. I couldn't trick Liam with the goldfish crackers I made, would he fall for it with the graham crackers - success - as soon as he got up from nap, he had 3 of them. Of course, I was kind of dumb to not leave them as big crackers as he likes, but it still worked. I also whipped up a batch of some homemade Gatorade. And then I was beat. We had dinner in the crock pot, plenty of snacks for a few days and a nice re-hydrating drink. It was great, exhausting, but great. I think I washed dishes about 30 times. We had a nice early nice and while the house wasn't perfectly clean, it was good enough for me for bed.
We got up on Sunday after Liam tossed and turned quite a bit, turning himself upside down leaving his feet where our heads were and somehow this all resulted in less kicking. Sean had work to do so I decided Burton needed some dog park time. We loaded up and head to the dog park. It was so much fun. Liam worked with me so well to get in the Ergo and Burton was thrilled. I was so glad I wore my ice shoes, something I bought at REI years ago and used a few times. They have the ice spikes already in them, no messing with attaching things to them and man, they worked. There were plenty of spots where I saw people fall, or saw really bad ice, Burton even slipped a few times, but nothing for me. We had a great time, did a couple of miles and I felt pretty darn good to not only carry about Liam, but also carrying his little sister as well. I'm guessing that will be much harder when she is born.
I told Liam that I was so happy to go on a little adventure with him, I felt like at first, went all the time, somewhere new, the same place, didn't matter, we just headed out. The past few months we haven't been doing that. And I'm not sure why, maybe we have been too busy, maybe Sean has been home so we stuck around here to hang out, but all I know is that I realized that I don't have too many more days like that - all right, I have about 100 more days, not that I'm counting, but well, before we know it, we will have another little one to take with on adventures, which is great. But it made me a little sad, my little guy, I'll have to share my attention, he won't get all of my attention, which is probably a good thing. And I think being a little sad about having to divide my time with Liam and the next one is normal, right? All moms have to go through that, the feeling of having to let go of your first, moving on to the the second, figuring out how in god's name I will balance all of it when sometimes I barely think I can handle this!
Ah, but that's for another time, I have a few more months to worry about that, so for now, I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy (it has been much tougher than Liam's), bond with my little girl, and spend as much time with Liam as possible. We have a million things we want to do before the baby comes and it'll happen, or it won't. But in the end, the moments I have with Liam right now, as my only kid, will be the moments I enjoy. I'll remember that his kicks at night means that I am supplying him with some love and cuddles. I'll remember his throwing his food on the floor just shows that he has his own ideas and thoughts. I'll think that every time I pick up one more car and put it away, it is Liam finding things that he loves to do. I'll smile at him when he is playing and using his imagination instead of finding other things to do during that time. I'll pick him up when he wants me to, I'll snuggle and read an extra book now and then if he needs me to stay. And I'll happily pick him up when he stomps into our room and needs cuddles at night. I know things will change when this little girl comes along, I know that I won't be able to give Liam all that attention. And I know people will think I should start preparing him for that now, but for now, I'll just spend time with him. I'll talk to him about his baby sister - which he has recently started carrying around a little baby doll calling it his baby sister - and I'll enjoy him, every moment of him, even the ones that drive me nuts.
We have time to figure out what to do when she gets here and even though we might have the best ideas, we never know what will happen. So we will go with it and figure it out - all we need is the love that our family can provide, the rest will fall into place, or not, either way, we will all have each other!
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