17 days

The countdown has begun, I know, kind of lame, but I miss my husband, is that so lame?  In 17 days I will see Sean again, and Liam will see his daddy and we have decided that pretty much no matter what, we will NEVER go this long without seeing each other.  At least that is what I decided.

And today was a better day, I went to work, got to work out, I always forget how good that makes me feel, I ate well, I got to play with my little guy and right now, he is sleeping.  The only thing that will make the night better, if he keeps sleeping.

And I remembered to relax, and that when he cries, that is really the only way he knows how to express that something is wrong.  And I also realized that even though I know that, his screams that I can't fix just break my heart.  I am thinking that is just another part of being a mom - along with the fact that I can do everything in my power to keep my little man safe, but sometimes, life has a way of changing plans.  There is only so much I can control and maybe that is part of me still learning to let go - let him be the kid he wants to be, I'm sure I'll run into this issue as he grows up as well.  For now, I can just love him the most I can, comfort him the best way I know how and be there.  I can always do those things for him.

And in 17 days his daddy can help and do all those things with him.  I wonder how many more times I will cry before I see him.