8 days

Yes, this time next week, I will be waiting just one more day to see Sean.  But for now, it is 8 more days.  8 more days of no good night kisses, of talking to Sean on the phone, of video chatting.  8 more days of me and Liam, with my parents help.  8 more days to see as many people as I can before I leave.  8 more days until Sean gets here and we can celebrate our holidays and then we leave.

And then we leave.  I have been so busy missing Sean that I haven't even really thought about the fact that in about 2 weeks, we are moving to Colorado for good.  It will be hard, Sean will still be working tons, I will be taking care of Liam on my own.  But at least I will get good night kisses.  And some days, Sean will be off and I will get to see him.  We will be able to explore, take Burton and Liam on a hike, a snowy hike, or an ice skating trip, or just a drive to see the pretty mountains and scenery.  Or maybe even take a trip to go snowboarding.  Ugh, but those days when he isn't off are going to be ROUGH.  I will count the days again until that ends.  So, now I think it is I need a change of thinking.  I'm tired of counting down to be done with things.  I feel like I am looking at the glass being half empty.  And that's not who I am.  I am a half full person.  The last few weeks have taken a toll on me, beat me down a bit, turned me around.  It's time to take my own time to turn myself around.  How do I do that?  How do I find time for myself to make my glass half full?  I have little to no time to myself, ever.  I have done better and getting in my workouts, and that helps.  Maybe I need more of that.  Maybe I need to get my yoga going again.  Maybe the evenings need to be more about the things I can do in the other room instead of sitting here and doing nothing.  I need to take time to clear my head, to make sure that I have my glass half full.

I think part of the problem is that I am running on empty.  I am tired, I am burned out and I need a break.  Gosh, I have no idea how single parents do it.  I need a pick me up.  I need something to recharge me.  I don't know what I need.  Maybe I just need a mountain view.  Maybe I need a reminder of why we are going through all of this.  Maybe I just need to be with Sean.  I need our family to be together, I need a good night kiss.  And I need to change my thinking, I need to get that glass half full again.  And the journey continues....